I had a dream he was kissing me on a bridge. It was night all around and everything felt right. I woke up feeling rejuvinated and happier than ever. But then I remembered what was going on.... (not that it was a clear picture..) Then, I felt so down. So lost and utterly depleated.

Yesterday Lindsay told me what Jake said about not wanting anything to do with me. I never knew what true pain felt like until I heard her say that. I keep crying at odd moments. I am so tired.

I really wouldn't mind if I never fell in love again.