people that i havent really had in my life enough recently or people that i miss: kiefer, jordan, jade, natasha, BRANDON, DYLAN, michael, majdi, my sister, my grandpa, and shane. im at paula's house right now. shes taking a shower because i fell asleep in her bed for about an hour because i felt sick from dinner and i sweated a bunch in her bed and she said it made her feel like she just got back from working out or something hahaha. oh well. i sweat a lot when i sleep... especially if i am sleeping to keep myself from vomiting at my girl's house. i want her to be my girlfriend already. but i know the timing isnt right. im gonna wait this one out and see what happens. today practice was so legit. we ran the stadium FOUR TIMES. all the stairs at UCSB. it was insane. last week we only did three and that was a challenge but this week was so much harder because i was tired right awsay. i felt so good after practice!!!! oh my god. i cannot explain how good it feels to be working out as hard as i am. after we ran the stadium, we did 22 straight minutes of ab workouts and then we did "fool rigatta" which is 5 squats, 5 jumps squats, then 10 & 10, then 15 & 15, then 10 & 10, then 5 & 5. and i am talking DEEP squats. after that 16 of us went on the field and played ultimate frisbee for about 45 minutes. SO GOOD. i mean i never thought id be working out as hard as i am in school and then doing activities for fun afterwards. i feel like a different person. i quit smoking cigarettes. i had my last one last night. honestly, it wasnt as good as i would have hoped but i gues i like it better that way because now i dont want another. last one was unsatisfying. oh well. im done. im not saying i am going to completely stop smoking everything, but me partaking in my pipe, hookah, and a little weed every now and then wont affect my athletic performance like cigarettes had been. i never even smoked that much and yet i fully could tell that it affected how i ran and stuff. god forbid i swam at all recently because i probably would have drown from not getting enough air. im getting in such good shape. my abs are starting to show, my chest is getting bigger, im gaining wieght. i love rowing. it is the best thing i have ever done with my life. i want to change my major. fuck communications. i want to start a family already. i was told the other day that i am the future of hayward lumber and that i basically will have a 6 figure position at the company waiting for me after i graduate. sweet. hello paying off my loans in six months. SWEET. i want a new truck. peace.