i should be studying right now. really i have about 20 minutes before i have to put the hammer down and do 2 hours of studying for comm and 1-1/2 hours of study for religion. but lets be honest, im peter. im going to just get bored after 3 hours, go grab sandwich outta my truck and chill til class. idk why but im not worried about either of my midterms today. i havent READ or STUDIED ANYTHING!!! but it just hasnt gotten to me. last night i went to study and i got really stressed out because i found out that i might not be able to do crew anymore. between work, school, crew, and living in VTA... things are going to be impossible starting this winter unless things change. im going to propose that Hayward puts me on salary, takes me off the schedule, lets me keep benefits, and lets me work whenever i want. i want to do this. i want to keep my job. i love my customers and i love what i do. i LOVE crew. i cant think of myself NOT doing it now. i look forward to going to practice everyday. i have to lose weight for it. im too heavy to be on lightweight and not strong enough to be on heavy weight. which is NOT good. the cut off is 160. i usually weigh around 165 and right now i am right at 160. ive lost a lot of weight since i joined the team, but i havent built up my legs yet so i dont know if ill have to step it up to heavy weight team of not. but the fact is i LOVE it and i will do anything in my power to keep it a part of my life. i found free plans for a bomb ass 13 foot canoe. i am going to build it this winter. i still have to think of a name for it. ive got time though. im doing it for sure. so kiefer better come home so we can use it and fish in it. yea thats right. i want to take it to lake cachuma and fish. fuck yea! im falling in love with paula. im NOT there yet by any means. but shes sooooo fucking amazing. i found the person i want to be with most. i think. dudes that are REALLY buff at our age freak me out. study and pb and j time. peace.