im so fucking down right now. im pissed because the yankees lost game one tonight. but im MORE pissed that cliff lee pitched such a good game that i will admit he deserved it. i want to be with her so bad. she knows how i feel and yet she doesnt do anything about it. i dont get it. but i do at the same time. so frustratingly horrible. the news is on my tv. fuck this im turning to adult swim. im fucking starving. all my mom ever cooks for dinner is chicken and rice because she thinks that is the only healthy thing one can cook. i have beer and ice cream at paula's house and i want it really bad. hungry hungry hungry i hit myself in the balls tonight while i was putting away my laundry. hurty so bad. i printed up the plans for my canoe. i am going to start building it soon. i cant wait til decemeber. it just wont happen. plus if i am going to steal the material from work i better do it soon. inventory is coming up so i think i will wait to get the material after we do our counts and shit cuz nobody will notice then. the plywood i need for the canoe is about 75 bucks a sheet, but its the best thing i can use. i am going to name my canoe either "el caballo de la muerte" [the horse of death, en espanol, just because its epic], "the rebel" [after my grandpas old boat], or "murmaider" [murmaid murder, inspired by metalocolypse]. ok one more midterm tomorrow. cant focus but i have to attempt to study before tomorrow morning. CREW TOMORROW WILL BE AMAZING. ive decided. im falling for her. peace.