so... today is peter's bday- i got him the 2nd season of "scrubs" cuz we watch the episodes together and i thougt it would b fun to have another season to watch together. those r sum of the best times i have w/ my lil bro, and its nice to feel like good friends again like we were when we were lil. and he used to be my best friend... then for a couple years we barely talked at all... but now that hes at lane and on the team again we spend alot of time together. I never realized how much I missed him until he was around, being my friend and bro, looking out for me and not wanting me to b w/ guys and stuff- lol- even though he drives me crazy sumtimes, its nice to have a brother again. The rest of this week went by. Sum of it sucked but sum was pretty good. I had two tests when I came back on Thursday, which I bombed... but oh well. Everyone asked me if I was ok... I had to explain every thing a thousand times, but it was nice to know how much ppl care. ~Especially nice to walk out of the locker room and have kevin standing there asking if I was ok and telling me that he was worried abt me. And to have him hug me so close and tell me it was ok....the only upside to not having a car is that sumtimes when we take the bus home we catch the same one he is on... which of course I luv. Steph likes it too. Cuz chris always waits around for her so they can ride for the whole 5 stops together- sitting on each other and kissing and stuff. For me it was good enough to sit across frm him and talk and look at him.... I no im a total looser cuz i like him so much but he has never thought abt me like that. i mean i must b an idiot to fall for my best friend... all i want to do is stop thinking abt him cuz every time i do he seems so great but i cant b w/ him so it just sucks to think abt it.....turnabout is coming up and dana and steph both said i should ask him and i adamently said i wouldnt - but deep down i really wish that i could get up my courage. dana told me i should just take a chance at sounding like an total idiot - she said she has taken so many and it was worth it. i agree in my heart but my common sense tells me not to- i dont want to get hurt(not that he'd be mean abt it or any thing)"life is abt taking risks- dont b the person who has to look back and wonder what might have been." ~ "if u really care abt him enough- take a chance- one of two things will happen: either hell realize ur worth it or ull realize hes not" yeh i should take my own advice.... well- now that ive spilled my guts and made my self seem like sum stupid chik all wrapped up in sum guy...i guess ill go and try to stop thinking abt him