guess i haven't been on in a long long time but, i felt like i needed to write so here i am. i kinda figured somethings out; i never ever forgive myself, not even for the littlest things. i dont really do much with neone, im afraid that i will mess up and then where will i be? well i try and work with people but ive kinda been distant to people, kinda numb to the world. lately ive felt really lost, i just haven't known what to do. my mom wants me to go see a shrink, like thated help. ya right. i feel horrible, 'cause i got mad at jon and jess. well, i wasn't really mad, just i wanted to be left alone. i dunno i havent been me, so then people like jon and kyle. they haven't be teasing me, so i feel so removed. i kno its my fault, but i can't help it. im just really befuddled. i feel streched with no where to turn. i haven't been the best friend lately to neone. guess ill just continue to muddle thru it all, like usual.