so i feel like shit. do i ever feel any different? lol. jeez. today was not a good day. i'm so sick of this. i have absoulutly nothing. i have no friends anymore. no one calls me. nothing to do. nothing. nothing. that's all i fucking am now. no point in living. i've stopped cutting i don't know why though, considering i deserve to be bleed. i deserve to fucking hurt. i just want to be numb. i want everything to be over. i want my life to just, make sense. i'm sick of being so unsure of everything. i'm sick of not knowing why i act the way i do. i'm sick of being that one fucking person who brings a rain cloud where ever they go. i'm fucking sick of it, and i don't know how to fix it. i don't know how to change it. i don't have anyone to talk to. my friends are always busy. i used to always know who i'd call if i needed someone. i used to know who would answer and calm me down when i was crying. i don't anymore. i have no one. not one fucking person, and it blows. i probably lost my hamster. i was a big cunt today. i don't deserve a hamster anyways. i have to figure something out. i have to change something. i'm not sure what yet. i just know i can't handle living this way anymore. ♥