well. this morning is crappy. it hurts to keep all these tears in. physically. it hurts my throat. i'm putting myself through torture sitting here, listening to elliot smith over and over again. i stayed up all night again. now i'm hurting. today shall suck. but i'll try to be positive and say, "today won't suck..that bad" gah. why do people keep leaving me? jeez. i don't know what i'm suppose to do. stop it. stop it. stop it. stop it. i'll write some more in this entry later.