so, it's official. i'm going to see dashboard confessional and say anything in july. and oh my god. i'm so fucking excited. it's crazy. it's 4 am. and i definately just spent 3 hours on the phone with kevin. we're hanging out tomorrow. probably watch movies and all that jazz. i hope thing works out. gahh. then he's coming to the show on sunday and he said he'd pay?! i don't know. gah. why are guys so confusing? speaking of confusing, that's what my life is as of today. jennifer called, and i didnt answer it. i'm stupid. she's supposedly sending me an email tomorrow, or this morning i guess. it's thursday. i've done nothing this week. i've been staying up all night, and sleeping all day. and pretending i'm okay. My anixety was so bad on sunday. huge fights. and a hospital visit. it wasn't a good day. waste of a night if you ask me. i added jeremy back. don't ask me why. i just was in need of stuff. he's alot different. i don't think i like it. i'm going to delete him again. i deleted rick. who i went on a date with like 2 weeks ago, and what happens, this always happens, as soon as i delete him, he starts talking to me. so we played chess, and pool, and solitare. it was corny. plus he wants me to do cornrows in his hair, which i have NO idea how to do, i'm an emo kid for christ sakes. anyway. i hate talking about other people on this diary. it sucks. lol. but if i talk about me too much, then i feel weird. lol. my throat hurts. it's taken a beating. i've been smoking weed, sooo much lately. i like it so much. ahhh. lol. anyways, new subject. i havent written an entry in a while. no inspiration to write i guess. i dont know what caused this sudden burst. i feel so super bad about school. i hate myself. i hate myself. why do i fuck things up so god damn bad. fuck me. god. i hate it. i'm nothing nothing. good for nothing. gah. and i cried so much this morning. i dont know why. i couldnt stop. i just cried and cried. i hate myself. -♥- rockk off..