I'm stuck in this bad mood. In the past if I was in a relationship at the time I would have put it down to that, but not now. Of course, I do miss her and other related things, and they do contribute, but it's not the reason. I'm just fed-up. I go to a school full of idiotic drains on society who have been instilled with ignorance and a severe lack of decency. Where, at break time and dinner time, I do exactly the same thing. The lessons all merge in together and I can't distinguish yesterday from the day before. When i'm not in school, i'm most probably sitting on the computer, waiting for the only person I look forward to talking to these days to come online and hitting refresh on myspace. It really is sad. There's a girl that makes me realise how amazing life can be. How amazing I can feel. I see her once or twice a week and in between seeing her I miss her and think about her more than I should. I start to question and doubt. So when the next time I see her comes around, I half ruin it. I'm just stuck in this cycle of being fed-up and, for a few hours a week, i'm generally happy. It hardly helps with the constant self doubt. No matter how much re-assurance I get, i'll doubt myself mentally, physically, sexually; i'm so insecure about that. I just feel so isolated sometimes, and I hate the way I am. Things will turn around, they always do. Either that or it'll all be over. The curtain falls and that's it. I will have wasted my life by holding my head in my hands.