whenever i drink coffee i feel even more sleepy. or is it that i havent really woken from this deep slumber, that coffee allows me to partially see what the real world looks like?

i walked again today, three miles. it was very nice out so i said what the hell. i enjoy checkin everyone out anyways. there are guys my age that watch me which would normally freak me out but these guys are like HOT so im like daaaaamn theyre lookin at me?! haha. a part of me would like to do 100 laps around just to look at them over and over and over again. this excites me, a lot.

i went to family planning to get birth control because i lost my last two months worth. they asked if i had a papsmear done in the past year and i just had one in april so i told them. they wanted to number to the place and i was like uuuuuuh i dunno. so i had to come home and call movie gallery to see if they would look up the number in the phone book [it was the only PA number i could remember]. the guy was like i dont feel morally comfortable looking that up for you, your going to have to get your baby killed elswhere. i was like WTF DUDE! im tryin NOT to get pregnant. lol. i ended up finding it online and went back up to the clinic. they wanted me to pay $50 for the visit and $25 for each month of birth control i needed, and i need at least 8 months. so that totalled out to $250 plus 7% tax. FUCK THAT. abstinence is key now. dustin will just have to masterbate to the porn again. poor thing.

im ending this entry with a song that goes out to my handsome lover dustin.

Thank you
For being everything you always are
For being there like no one else
You know my heart
Do you realize what you've done for me
You made me see that love is worth believing in
I want to thank you for being
The one thing i can count on in my life
For always giving more than you have to give
I love you for everything you do
I just want to say thank you
I want to give you all you've givin me
From the sweetest gifts down to the little things
Anything you need.
Everything I am I'll be loving you until forever and...
I want to thank you for being
The one thing I can count on in my life
For always giving more than you have to give
I love you for everything you do
I just want to say thank you
From sunrise,to sunset
You know. I'll do my best
To say thank you thank you
I want to thank you for being
The one thing I can count on in my life
For always giving more than you have to give
I love you for everything you do
I just want to say thank you

i love you dustin. thank you for everything <3