Most of yesterday is just one big blur. He got me drunk off lovely sparkling wine. It was so tasty. Two and a half cups later, I was half cut. I'm slowly piecing the day and night together. It was strange being drunk at 5pm. He was already horny before I got drunk. Sex was great, so many positions, and so many times. Nick came over and I had to pretend like I wasn't drunk. It was hard and he could tell. I'm usually quiet and reserved, laughing occasionally at his jokes. I was loud and giggly. He blushed the whole time. We went into his room and he showed me all of his pictures and I sang along to Sarah McLachlan. My past worries were put to rest once I saw those pictures. I apologised for what I'd done a few days ago and hadn't mentioned. He took it better than what I thought, mainly because I was drunk, I think. I was genuinely sorry. I think he knew this. It was almost time to go so he got his money and marched me down to the shop so I could get some food into my system. At that point I felt sick, the road kept spinning around me. My strap on my heel kept coming undone, so he'd have to stop and do it up for me. Was kinda cute. I got chips and sat on the curb and ate them. I could see people watching me. The disapproved look on their faces. I remember thinking about what people think when they see me, this small, short girl in heels and designer outfits, drunk. He stayed by my side the whole time. He stroked my head. He came on the bus with me until he had no money. Walking home seemed like it took forever, the concrete seemed like it was never going to end. I got home to find no one there. I got the washing in and sat on the deck. I was found hugging the washing basket with my head on the washing. I remember climbing into bed and Dad came in and kissed my forehead. It was then that I fell into a deep sleep. I will not admit that I'm becoming addicted to alcohol. I will not admit that I'm miserable without it. I told him that he was my best friend. Auggh. No.