This morning in the shower I sat and cried. I cried for all that I know. For the beginning and for the end. Beginning starts now. End was then. For my love for him and for my hatred. I hate him. I love to hate him. For what he did to me. Backs turned. Actions without thoughts of hurt and guilt. How oblivious I was. How I know nothing but that. False security. Sugar coating. How it eats me alive. How I let it. The lies. The truth. Truth hurts. Change. Lessons. Intertwined. I got that far before someone pounded on the door for me to hurry up. This serves me right. Curiosity killed the cat. The cat being me. I'm sorry about the attitude I need to give when I'm with you, but no one else would take this shit from me.. -- I got hit on in the bus exchange. At first I thought he was staring at me because of my, well, lack of height. He started to talk to me, asking if I had a sister because I looked familiar. He then asked what I was doing. After I told him I was waiting for my boyfriend, he walked off to catch a bus. The same bus that had passed us twice already. My hair was still wet and I had a high-necked jersey and scarf on. I had rushed to get dressed because I was already running late. What the hell? People must be blind. I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind.