Wish It was forever today. That I could just have this feeling forver I wish I could define this feeling but its too different. I went to Angelwalk last night, cried alot. Ashley said she didn't know if her sister was in heaven or in hell and for once I couldn't answer. I'm worried about myself. I used to always want to kill myself but my church leader had always told me that if you comitted suicide you went to hell. But I studied about it in the BIBLE cause Ashley wanted to know... and its not true. If your a believer and have accepted Christ then you go to heaven. The only thing that can keep you from heaven is not accepting Christ or asking him into your heart. The only reason I had never comitted suicide was becasue I want to get to Heaven to see my dad and I thought I would go to hell if I killed myself. Now that I know the truth, it will be harder for me to hold on to life. To not throw it all away with a knife, or a gun. To see my dad again would be the best thing thta could ever happen to me. But to think of all my friends and family. To think of how they would feel. I just don't know. I'm going to try not to though. I'm going to try as hard as I could. I cant promise it will work. But I can promise that I'll try.