i dont know how i feel about that place. we were spinning and the lights were flashing and i felt like the ugliest person alive. everyones drunk but me and im just worried about how everyone might be staring at me. and how terrible i feel in the shirt im wearing and someone is stepping on my toes. and my jeans just got ripped. and a drink spilled on me. and jenn is weighing me down and begging me to take her home. i dont have a car. and i danced. danced the night away. no boys. just girls. no making out, just lapdances. they're up on the bar and im standing below and i feel like the lamest person ever. i dont know why i am feeling this way lately. just extremely ugly. and i hang out with them and they're all so beautiful. and i just look like an idiot. it usually doesnt matter what other people think. i dont know why it did this time. and i was thinking the whole time about something else. about someone else. and how i miss them. i keep wondering why they arent around anymore. but i dont wish for them to come back. we go to dennys. its the best meal of my life. it really brings the night from a four to a eight. i wear my hood but not my jacket and down pickles and pancakes. nick takes shots of syrup. i miss tatas. i wish he could of been there. i finally danced and didnt feel shy. and i would dance again if i felt like. the night was a total bummer but it could of been better. im going to buy new club clothes. more comfortable shoes. find a cute guy to dance with. etc, etc, etc. that is all for now.