you wont understand, so stop trying. you wont make it better, so stop pretending. you wont call, so dont say you will. you dont care, so go away. the doctor was mean and got angry with me and i stared at the wall and cried and then my dad yelled at me and everything is always my fault so i called you and you said you werent there and i cried more and laid in my bed only to find its just as empty as it was before and something is missing and that thing is my heart so wont you please give it back? [she said she couldnt eat smooth food. a smooth food phobia. no jello, no pudding. i laughed at her simplicity and wished i couldnt eat smooth foods either.]