Well, I am FINALLY updating after a two month absence or something like that. It feels good to be writing in the old SD again. Beauty and the Beast has actually gotten to the point in the run where I like it, I have fun being in it, and I will actually miss it when it is over. I won't necessarily miss the actual show as much as I will miss being onstage all the time and miss the people. I really love everybody in that show. Of course, there are exceptions, but we won't go there. ha. I have been thinking about it a lot lately and the other day I told someone that it will be nice to "have a life" again. but then I realized, this IS my life. When I am not in a show, I really don't party or do anything as fun ever. I mean, i do hang out with friends SOMETIMES which is enjoyable, but when i think about it, I guess I don't party or go places with people because people don't invite me. I am not sure why things hve started to be this way. I try to tell myself it is because everyone knows I'm really busy, but I know that is not the reason. I guess I really have sort of lost a lot of my friends as time has gone by. It isn't anyone's fault really, it is just sort of growing and changing in everybody, but it really depresses me. Well, as partying goes, I can't wait til Kimmy's halloween party. People at school are having one the same night, but of course, I wasn't invited. But i probably wouldn't have fun at that one anyway. So, in the school department, I guess I'm not doing as well as I should. We have a drama competition this saturday that I am really nervous about, because we barely EVER work in class, but I'm just gonna not stress about it if no one else in teh play is. Today though, we were running a scene where I have to cry and get really mad, and Mrs. Arvay told me to think of anything that would make me get angry and be real and so I thought of her! HAHA. I did really good once I thought of her, because I was ACTUALLY mad. Then, in English, we got our rough drafts on papers we had to write back and there were huge green marks ALL over mine. I defiantely need to take advantage of the week he gave us to change those corrections. Then, in math, I am making an 89, my first B. That is extremely upsetting. I don't know how, but I am hoping to bring that up at least a little. In my other classes, nothing significant happens. Today, I had voice and my voice was okay, but not as good as last week. I guess I was just more tense, because I had to run straight from rehearsal at school for West Side Story to voice and I was late for my lesson and I had to change in the car. I really need to start practicing more, because I know that will help me improve, I just need to learn how to make time to do it. One thing that has helped a great deal with my time management is the little book I carry in my purse that I put activities in. I always am adding stuff in class though, which is kind of distracting. West Side Story is going pretty well. I missed the dance rehearsal for working on the Dance at the Gym, because my godmother Karen came and we went ot Charleston to go shopping! That was really fun. She bought me a lot of stuff, and coincidentally, most of it was brown! I don't own anything brown, so i guess it was nice to get some brown stuff for a change. Anyway, back to West Side..my partner and I were really behind today at the dance review, so I had to learn a whole bunch of new stuff today just by watching other people(who were probably doing it wrong), so we will see how close we are to the real choreography when Cindy comes on friday. Other than choreography, West Side is coming pretty well, i guess. BUT, we only have less than a month! AH! I was supposed to start going to dance classes tonight, but I found out it is CBS's fall break, so I will wait til next week...after I get paid. I went to see 42nd street last night. It was AMAZING. Well, let me rephrase that. The dancing was AMAZING. The acting was overdone, but i got over it once I saw those hoofers dance. It really made me wish I was in tap, but I can't be in it because of work, so I might as well just forget about it. The theatre wasn't full, so my dad and I moved up like 20 rows and sat next to DiAnna, who was ushering. It was good to see her. It always is! her 22nd birthday is coming up soon and I really need to think of what to get her. Well, my schedule is extremely busy lately. I am supposed to be in some piano recital at the end of the month, and I really don't want to. I am also really bogged down with homework and studying and everything! AND, i never get to see Kirby or meagan or Annabel or Marie or ALlison or Elizabeth, and I miss all of them dearly. I saw Marcus Sheilds from governor's school when I was waiting for my mom to pick me up and he drove by. I love that kid. He is strange though, i have to hand it to him. I need to work like, on the weekdays, so i can make more money, but I don't have TIME. GOSH. There needs to be like 3 more days in a week and I wish i never got tired. haha. What a life. I hagve changed since last year....a lot it feels like. Maybe not though. Maybe just to me. I just know I feel different. Oh, and I forgot to say that I haven't seen Lucy in a while either...who I also miss.

So, today we have a delayed start and I had some extra time(that I should spend reading for English) and I decided to use it to write. Last time I wrote, my entry was really quite depressed sounding. But, now, I am in a much better mood. We started dress rehearsals for Beauty and the Beast and I am really beginning to think it is a good show. Last night, during Be Our Guest, I was onstage and I actually got this burst of energy and excitement about the number I was in. It was awesome. I suddenly realized how this show actually might be pretty good. Maybe what helped is the fact that we got the band last night and the whole entire cast was trying to fight the amazing volume of the drums and trumpet. haha. I am listening to my Little Women cd. It is really putting me in a good mood and i am glad I chose it to listen to today. Sutton Foster really is incredible. I have been thinking about SCITS competition for school this winter and I decided I want to take a solo musical theatre piece. I wanna do something really fun. I just realized that this is a chance for me to do ANY number I have always wanted to do, so I gotta make a wise decision. I was thinking about doing My Unknown Someone from Will Rogers Follies. That would be a fun song. No Man Left for Me would be even more fun, but I have to see if I can get a belt voice built up for that! I better go. I have to read the first act of The Crucible before school starts and right now I am in a towel from my shower. Have a Good Day!

I haven't written in an entire month. So, a lot has happened since the last time i wrote. In a nutshell, school started, I have been really tired all the time, I have a lot of Beauty and the Beast rehearsals, and we had auditions for West Side Story at school. West Side Story auditions were probably the most exciting of the events just listed, and even they didn't end up how I had hoped. I got called back to sing and act for Maria, but I ended up not getting the part. My drama teacher told me it was because my range vocally isn't high enough. That is probably true, but I wasted a lot of my life crying over not getting that part. okay, well like, two and a half hours, but that is still a lot to me. So, I ended up getting a role in the ensemble...just like all the other shows I have been in...including the current one, Beauty and the Beast. Speaking of which, I really can't stand beauty and the Beast. I am only in two scenes and it is just really annoying not having a significant part at all. I ahve been there so many nights and teh cast isn't even fun. there are only like 5 people in that cast that I actually enjoy being around. I feel so negative about it all, but I just don't know what else to do. So, I decided taht I might as well make the best of this experience, so I am going to buy a journal and keep it of all my experiences backstage and also just during everyday life. I will write in it from more of an actor's perspective, though, so not everything in it is just pointless and completely gossipy, but so I will actually have something exciting and meaningful to look back on after the show is over and whenever I just feel like thinking of something creatively. The problem is, I don't really know how to format the journal. I don't exactly know how much I should limit it to being just about acting things or if it should be about other things too. I have been really insecure about my voice lately. I think it is ever since the West Side Story auditions when I was told it wasn't high enough, so I am going to start vocalizing every day like i'm supposed to, just so it will improve. I realllly realllly want to sleep in tomorrow, but I have to be at work at 7:30. Wow, my work makes me sick of pancakes real fast. haha. Hopefully my cool cousin Heyward will be working tomorrow! That's all I can think of to look forward to tomorrow. oh ya, before I go, I wanna say something about the Hurricane relief. I just pray that people survive and that our student council's efforts at school are worthwhile and that our school is able to help out a lot with raising money for fundraisers. I am going to bed now...after I take my shower...ick. GOODNIGHT!

i wish I could listen to my new Jump Little Children cd that kendal burned for me on my computer right now, but the speakers are broken or some crap like that....ugh. Anyway...it has been a weird week. It has been a weird summer actually. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have had some REALLY AMAZINGLY FABULOUS AWESOME times this summer, but at the same time, it seems like this whole summer, I have just been waiting for something, but I don't really know what exactly. I am not happy that school starts on monday. I am dreading it. I know that school is one thing that I have NOT been waiting for. The weird thing is, i don't know what exactly I am waiting for when I feel like I should be so happy the way things are right now. I have great friends(although some tend to fight sometimes, we still have fun!) and my family is good and it is summer and I got a job, which supplies income and I have been taking voice and piano lessons and gone to NYC and gone to the beach, and im tan and have new clothes....i just can't really grasp what it is exactly that I am waiting for. I think what it might be is my future. LIke, it may sound dumb, but I think I am looking forward to being older. I am looking forward to getting lead roles in plays and having a boyfriend who I really like and who understands me and beign able to drive and having freedom but at the same time spending time with my family that I enjoy....I just hate the fact that I can't seem to grasp the moment now. I WANT to be 15, but at the same time, i can't wait to be older. I feel so in between time periods. Maybe getting my braces off on Friday will help me feel older, but I have a feeling that what I feel is much deeper than just looking older. I think what makes me nervous, is that subconcsiously, I think that the things I look forward to in my future won't ever turn out how I plan. I try not to think so negatively like always setting myself up for failure, but it is hard not to subconsciously believe that I won't ever get lead roles or be truly and honestly happy. i was talking to lucy yesterday and she told me that she, at this point in her life, feels honestly happy. She said that her happiness feels realyl genuine and the reason she knows she is happy, is because it doesn't really show majorly to other people, but she always feels happy inside. Maybe I am waiting for that moment to come when I realize I am truly happy...not just outwardly happy, but happy as a whole. i just hope that because Lucy has a wonderful boyfriend and a car and lots of money doesn't make her more capable of being happy than me. I don't think it should. that would be a very materialistic happiness then, and it just doesn't seem like lucy if very materialistically happy right now. In fact, I know she isn't. I'm really sorry. this entry is completely random. I know you may not understand it, but it feels good to get it out.

I worked backstage for Annie tonight, because Lori had her surgery today. I LOVE YOU LORI! FEEL BETTER! Anyway, it was not half as stressful as i thought it would be...working backstage I mean. I didn't miss any cues and it was really fun. There were a lot less quick costume changes than in Will Rogers, which was relaxing and ms. Larson (jennifer) brought brownies that were REALLY good! Megan Perry is such a talented little singer and actress. I just wish that I had been into theatre at her age so I would have started voice and dance sooner, you know? I feel like I am so behind and I really just wanna be great at everything and get a lead role in a show sometime soon. But, as I realize, it will probably be a while before something like that ever happens. I just gotta keep working hard at improving my voice and dancing and acting. I can't wait til Heather is Annie tomorrow, because I know she will rock the house! It's fun being able to talk to Ms. Larson and Giulia sometimes. It makes me sad i can only work tomorrow night, but I am really excited about coming to see it closing night...i just gotta hurry and get tickets!! I was supposd to spend the night with Kirby tonight, but they called and started making the plans all confusing so I just sort of bailed out and decided to come home and sleep instead. So, I guess that is what I will go do. I will read first though. I think I am turning into an old person...with all this wanting to sleep and such. Haha. Once again, pray for Lori to get better before she has to go onstage on Sunday!

Wow. It's been an amazingly long time since my last entry. SOOO much to be covered! So, as I promised, I shall talk a bit about Governor's School, which I went to WAY back in June. Governor's School was a great experience and I really enjoyed it. None of the drama people there were weird like I had thought they would be and everybody was SO nice. As a matter of fact, I miss them A LOT! haha. ANyway, the teachers were really nice and supportive too. My favorite was Mr. Murray, the head of the drama department at Gov. school, because I got to know him best of all the teachers. He was my monologue instructor, which means he and I had monologue "tutorials", which were one on one sessions where we worked on teh monologue we were given (or in my case, I already had it) to present at the showcase at the end of the two weeks. I did a monologue from Talking WIth... by Jane Martin and Mr. Murray helped me with it SO much. He also taught our swordfighting/stage combat class, which was AWESOME. his wife taught our movement class and she was really cool woman who is a retired ballerina from New Zealand. ANYWAY...so my teachers were great and so by the end of the two weeks, i came to really be comfortable and happy with my monologue. THen, one day, as I was walking out of my tutorial with Mr. Murray, he stopped me and said "Mary, I really want you to consider auditioning for the residential program next year, okay?" I WAS SO EXCITED! I just sort nodded my head and left, but my heart rate was going 120 miles per second, because this was such an awesome thing! I mean, the HEAD of the drama department asked ME to audition for residential! SO, then, i really considered going back for residential. I am not FOR SURE going to audition yet, because I need to really think about what sorts of things I will be missing here at home, but there is a pretty good chance I will be auditioning in February. There is so much more to say abot governor's school, but I really can't think that far back right now, so I will move ahead. About a week after governor's School, I went to the beach for a few days with Lucy and her friend Pier, who I had never met before. It was fun, but it was a different kind of fun than most beach trips with Lucy. See, since I had never met Pier before, Lucy and him ended up kind of talking to each other and not including me in conversations a lot, which made me feel really left out. I was pretty depressed about this for about half of the trip. On the other hand, I came to learn that Pier is actually a really interesting guy and he is also extremely hilarious, so I spent the second half of the trip almost wetting my pants because I was laughing so hard from Pier's jokes. Pier is also a really good driver, so I never had to feel worried when we went places, because I was positive he would get us there safely, which was a plus. I got into some new kinds of music at the beach. I really have started to like Rilo Kiley, Iron and Wine, The Postal Service, Jump Little Children, and some other bands that Lucy and Pier introduced me to in the car on the way home from the beach. We came home from the beach on July 4, and we got home around 6 that night. Of course, just my luck, my family's 4th of July party had just ended and all my friends were out of town for tennis camp, so I spent the night of the 4th alone in my room, listening to music. haha, it was pretty festive if you ask me! Hmm...nothing really happened the week after the beach, but then on July 13th, I WENT TO NEW YORK CITY! We drove. It was me, my dad, Meagan, and her dad. The drive there was a long one. My dad made us stop in Annapolis, where he went to the Naval Academy and he made us take the hour long tour of it. Of course, meagan and I were not appreciating any of it while we were there. All we wanted was to be in the city. haha. but, after long hours, we finally made it. It was georgeous. Every time i go it just gets better and better. We went to see Wicked and we got Shoshana Bean's, Megan Hilty's, and Michelle Federer's autographs. Then, we went to see Spamalot(my second time!) and we got Christian Borle's, Eric Idle's!!, David Hyde Pierce's, Michael Mcgrath's, Alan Tuddle's, and some chorus people's autographs. The woman next to me at the stage door almost fainted when she saw Eric Idle come out! haha. i was sad not to get Tim Curry's autograph but I already have his. The only one I still really want is Sara Ramirez, because she is AMAZING. My dad took me shopping a bit at the Billabong and Quicksilver stores and we also went to the Museum of Modern Art, which was really interesting. We walked through Central Park for a bit as well and ate A TON of food. One of our meals was at Ellen's Stardust Diner, which was fun as always and we ate like 3 times at Roxy and I went to Starbucks like EVERY hour. now that I think about it...I spent WAAAAY too much money on Starbucks. Okay, so my critiques on teh shows...WICKED WAS SO AMAZING. I couldn't believe it. I mean, I loved the music, but to see it all live and the whole show put together like that was just awesome. Shoshana Bean was great. The one thing I did get annoyed by was how weirdly she said the word GOOD..her's was more like a GUUUUUUUD. haha. Also, it was hilarious, because during "As Long As You're Mine" where Fiyero and Elphaba sing to each other, Fiyero's microphone blasted really loud for a second and both of them jumped and Shoshana bean started laughing during the song! I thought that was unprofessional, but really funny. Spamalot was hilarious and FANTASTIC. Sara Ramirez was even better than last time I saw it and i just loved the comedy all throughout the show. The one thing that made me nervous was when they take the letters that they use to spell "camelot" with and mix them around to spell "Camltoe" and my dad was sitting next to me laughing his head off at that. That just felt awkward! ohter highlights of New york: I bought some mascara from Sephora(I lost my old tube), My dad bargained for a coach purse for me on the street, we ate in Rockefeller Center, we ate in Little Italy, I bought a wallet in Chinatown, we saw a Bocci ball competition in the streets in Soho, which was fun, and we looked at apartments(not like LOOKED, but just stared at...lol) in Greenwhich Village. oh yea, and we got lost on the subway....like 200 times! i TOLD THEM we should just take a cab! but NO, they insisted that we get lost on the subway at midnight! ugh...you know, some things I just KNOW i am right about! Anyway, so we are home from New York. We got home Sunday morning at 4 a.m. Oh yea, on our way out of Manhattan, we were in a traffic jam and meagan and I rolled down our windows for fresh air and we heard "For Good" playing really loudly from a car nearby. We looked around and realized the song was benig played in a black man's car as he stuck his head out the window and sang the words really loudly. he was only two lanes away from our car, so meagan and I stuck our heads out the window and started singing to the words too! Then, he looked at us and started laughing really hard and it felt good to just be able to connect for a second with some random stranger by just laughing about something. but, we are home now. This week has been pretty slow. I started my third summer reading book. I started uta Hagen's book again, because I am taking notes on it this time. (shut up, i know im a dork!) I hung out with Lucy before she leaves for France and I had Meagan and Allison come over last night and we went to target. i went to Monday Masters on Monday, whcih was eventful. I also had a voice lesson yesterday which went pretty well and a piano lesson today which went NOT so well! Then, tonight, I worked backstage for Annie at Workshop, because Lori has to have surgery and I have to take her place working backstage for two days. It was exciting getting to see some people again. I forgot how much i miss workshop. I am glad Broadway Bound is with Workshop now, because I like Workshop SOOO mcuh better than Town. By the way, the opening number of beauty and the BEast SUCKS. ha. SUPRISE SUPRISE! well, I am pretty exhausted from today's events and writing about the past few month's events. I need to do some crunches before bed, so I better hurry before I completely DIE of tiredness. I hope this entry did not bore you too much. It was quite random in its layout and so it was probably dificult to follow! Lori, you look like garfield! haha. Goodnight everybody!

I got back from Governor's School on Saturday. I loved it SO much. I never thought I would go there and learn so much about acting in just two weeks. I don't really have that much time to write this entry, but if I did, i would tell all about my adventures at Governor's School. Instead, I promise that will be the next entry. Anyway, the point is, I REALLY wanna audition to go there for the residential program. I love the teachers and evyerthing about it there so much. my mom says she thinks I should do it, but all my friends really don't want me to. I mean, that makes me feel loved that they don't want me to leave before college, and I would miss my friends SOOOOO much, but I have been thinking about it, and if I make it, I just HAVE to go. It's what I want in life, to be an actor, and if I get the opportunity to study at Governor's School and make it into the program, i just gotta GO. Because I know that if I don't at least TRY it, I will always regret not going. After I got home from Governor's School, I bought an Uta Hagen book called Respect for Acting. I figured I would start out with that one instead of a Challenge for the Actor, because 1. it was less expensive and 2. it was shorter. haha. But, I am on the 7th chapter and I LOVE IT. It is just amazing. The woman was a complete genius. I wish she was still alive so I can meet her and tell her that I think she ws the most amazing person ever. haha. Anyway, the point is that I wanna get the other book after I finish this one. Hm...let's see...enough drama talk...what have I been doing this week? well, I went to Barnes and Noble with Lucy and that was fun. Except it was pretty embarrassing when I forgot how to use my check card and then when I figured it out, i forgot my pin number that I was supposed to type in, so I had to get the man to do it for me. He thought i was the biggest IDIOT EVER. AHh! i was mortified. On Sunday, I didn't really do anything I don't think. I went to the pancake house and applied for a job, but they haven't called me yet, so I don't know what is up with that. On Monday, I talked to Emily U. (a friend from Gov school) on the phone and found out that she got her first part in a musical and I was really happy for her! Tuesday, um..oh yea, I had a voice lesson that went pretty well and Meagan and Allison spent the night. We all fell asleep while watching a movie and we woke up the next morning in my living room. It was quite amusing. Then, we ent to DiPrato's last night and our waiter was SO hot. haha. He smelled really good too! Today, I walked to Allison's house and it was really hot and so I got to her house and swam in her pool and then we hung out and I came home and now I am here. Sorry, I basically rushed through the last parts, because I have to go to rehearsal for Bueaty and the Beast in a few minutes. Well, thats about it...more tocome about Governor's School later.

Okay, this is SO sad. I signed online and came to this website and looked at my entry from a few minutes ago just to see what day it is! I truly am one poor pathetic soul.

My entry was just deleted. Screw that! OMG, it was a good one too. I even carefully wrote my sentences and varied my sentence structure and everything. UGH. That stinks. Anyway. the reason for my careful good writing was because, well, I have decided taht if I don't succeed on Broadway (which I will) then I am going to become a journalist (which I won't), but I am going to succeed on Broadway (definately) so that doesn't matter anyway!(because I'm not gonna be a journalist.) THe End.

Okay, so I like this guy. And the problem is, i don't know if he likes me, or he is just really friendly and nice. I don't know what to do! This makes things between us awkward for me, because i want to tell him that i like him, but I don't wanna freak him out. UGH...life is so confusing. HIGH SCHOOL is so confusing. Why can't people just be straightforward? I guess that would take away from the fun of high school though. Wee...

Okay, so you know that feeling you get when you wake up in the morning and you realize you accidentally fell asleep the night before without brushing your teeth or taking your makeup off or even changing into pajamas? Yea, thats how i feel right now. My first REAL day of summer and I was awoken by the phone ringing and the nasty taste I have in my mouth from not brushing my teeth last night. Gross. Anyway...I guess I should jsut say what has been goin on lately. Thursday was my last day of school as a freshman. It was notihng amazing. I had two exams: geography and spanish..which i think i did pretty well on. My math exam on the other hand...umm...i FAILED it! AH! It was the first exam or anything really that I have failed in my life. I made a 52 which sucked, but i still made a 92 in that class which is okay i guess but i was mad, because it is one point from an A. ARGG. I made a 98 on my English exam though and a 97 on my drama exam and a 100 on my BCA exam, which i was glad of. Lucy is in Bulgaria right now...playing piano...as always. I have been sending her e-mails and she replied once, but other than that, i have yet to hear from her. I hope she wins her competitions! Since Friday, i have mainly just been hanging out with Annabel, Meagan, Kirby, and Allison. Actually since Thursday night. See, thursday night, all of us (excep Kirby, becuase she was IN the show) went to see the columbia ballet school showcase and it was SO amazing. Then, we spent the night together and junk. THen, friday, after swimming in Allison's pool in the rain, Kirby and I had a dance recital which our other friends came to see. It was a tap recital and I think I did pretty well. I messed up once, but I am pretty sure I kept smiling during it! I hope so! After the tap recital, I went to William Kana's house for the cast party which was fun. I hung out with Kirby and Lori mostly, but I talked to William and some of the CBS people some too. We sat on the porch and sang along to Broadway Musical soundtracks, which I enjoyed..though everyone else might not have! Saturday and Sunday, I mainly have been hanging out with Kirby and Meagan. On Saturday, after I had a piano recital, Kirby, Meagan, Kendal, and I went to see the Southern Strutt performance at the Koger Center and were blown away. I mean, they were good and all...but talent wasn't the reason we were blown away. We were blown away by the fact that their costumes barely covered anything and taht there were little 6 year olds booty bouncing up on stage! AH! It was scary. I saw DiAnna ushering there and we discussed it for a bit. Everyone who I went with was incredibly shocked. haha. I spent the night at Meagan's house on Saturday and On Sunday i came home and went with my family to the middle of nowhere to be there for my uncle's induction as a church pastor in this house that is 10 miles away from any civilization. I feel bad for my cousins, because after my cousing Laurie graduates, their family has to move to this house in teh middly of nowhere! AH! Last night was Sunday night. I went running for a little bit and then I went to San Jose's with Kirby, Annabel, and Allison. It was pretty fun. Then we went back to watch the season finale's of the OC and Desperate Housewives at Kirby's. That was pretty good, except for the part where Kirby hurt my feelings by saying something aobut my dancing. I dunno...maybe I'm too sensitive, but I really ahve always had a dream to be a good dancer. I mean, I want to be on Broadway, yes...but I really want to be a great dancer too. And whenever I practice dancing Kirby seem sto laugh at me and tell me that I don't even need to be a good dancer so why does it matter. IT DOES MATTER! It matters to me! I don't think she means to...I am just overly sensitive right now. OTher than that..there is not much else to say. I guess I better go take a shower, since I feel so disgusting. Graduation for Dreher was at 8 today. I wish I had gone, but I did'nt wake up in time. :(. That's all for now.

Well, It has been a while since my last entry, so I figured I would write. Also, I have been uber busy lately and since I have a little time to relax right now, I figured I should write about my week in my diary. This week was pretty hectic at school. We are reading a Tale of Two Cities in English and I didn't do too well on the first quiz, because...well...I didn't actually read teh chapters! I read sparknotes and although they helped, they didn't get me an A on the quiz. In geography we are watching this movie called "Not Without My Daughter" and it is SO sad! It's about this American woman who marries a man from Iran and has a little girl with him and they live in America. But then, the husband talks the woman into going on vacation in Iran and so they go with their daughter and then after two weeks of vacation is up, the husband tells the woman that he wants to live in Iran and its really dangerous over there and the woman is trying to get home to America, but every time she tries, her husband finds out and beats her! yea, but I haven't seen the ending yet, but I am sure it is good. It stars that woman from Mrs. Doubtfire. In drama this week, we had to perform our scenes in the media center for a bunch of classes. Mine was called This is a Test and it's about this girl named Ellen who is taking a test and all the questions are like really crazy and her brain is going insane the whole time during the exam and its really funny. I played Ellen and Hilary played Lois, Ellen's friend. I think the performance went pretty well. Toorrow, I have a private piano and voice recital that I have been preparing for all semester. I'm playing a Chopin Wltz a Chopin Mazurka, A Schumann piece, the Grieg concerto theme, and an etude by Duvernoy. I'm singing Whistle Down the Wind, Cockeyed Optimist, Danny Boy, Mister Snow, and Mcavity the Myster Cat with my friend Lucy. I guess what im singing is kinda not that exciting, but I guess it's okay for a voice recital, i mean, it's not a concert or anything. I am sort of nervous about my recital, because a lot of people are coming, but I am pretty excited too. I mean, I can't wait to have it out of the way! haha. TOmorrow night, after the recital, is the LPT dance. That should be fun. I am going with Andy and Meagan is going with Jay. We are going to Yesterday's before-hand, which should be interesting...haha. I couldn't really afford a dress for LPT, because I already bought a really expensive recital dress, so I borrowed this really cute black dress from Lucy. I love it! It is solid black except for a pink flower that is pinned to the hip and it come up a little above my knees. I bought hot pink shoes to go with it, so it should be fun. My mom is freaking out because she has to make SO much food for my recital tomorrow..haha, poor mom! I have been practicing piano so much lately and I even stayed home from school today to rest and practice, like my piano teacher told me to. It was ultra nice! I went with my mom and Nancy to depratos and I got a shrimp sandwich that was so good, but SO big, so I had to get them to help me eat it. I have a TOn of projects due on Monday and Tuesday. It is crazy how teachers just pile work on at the end of the year like this! I mean, why didn't they think to space out all their stuff before the year started so we could jsut end the school year normally instead of with so much work to do! I hate ho they do that. Well, I guess that is about everything in a nutshell...I better go call Andy about our plans for tomorrow night. Chao! P.S. I really wanna teach myself how to speak French! It seems so fun!

Does anyone ever read my diary? It kinda makes me curious if I write all this and no one reads it!

AH! I can't go to sleep! I just stayed up to finish a project and now I can NOT get to bed! I hate when this happens, because I know in the morning I will never be able to wake up. Well, lets see...this weekend was really busy and next weekend is gonna be busier and then the next weekend is gonna be even busier!!! Ok, so what happened this weekend....lets see... Friday, I had to stay after school to run tech for the dance show. Ugh, I HATE working backstage for school shows! It is really annoying having to deal with overdramatic high schoolers and trying to be nice to them at the same time. I mean, I am usually a nice person, but its not easy with so many people being annoying! Anyway, I stayed at school until 6 for that. Then, I came home and Meagan, Elizabeth, Kirby, Allison, Elizabeth and Marie came over for Meagan's birthday. we ate ice cream cake that was really good. Then some of them decided to spend the night. We watched Monty Python, which disappointed me, because I thought it was gonna be as good as Spamalot, but it was definately NOT. Then, we played Cranium and they made me watch the Omen, which is supposedly a scary movie, but I fell asleep during the credits, so I don't know. Then Kirby and I sleep talked and we woke up about nine on Saturday. Saturday: Everyone left around 1030 after eating donuts and then Kirby and I went to Tap. It was pretty good I guess. THen, I went straight to Trustus for our short Musical Theatre workshop, which was very informative. It was with Chris Cockrell and he is nicer than he gives the impression of. Then, I came home and wrote invitaions for my private recital and practiced and then I had to go back to trustus to usher for Heart Divided. Keith and McLean and Avery ushered with me, so it was fun. This morning, I woke up at 11 and felt like I was stuck to the bed. I practiced piano and worked on my English project most of the day. I went to the LPT meeting at 3 to make party decorations for the dance and that was pretty nice...it was outside and it was sunny and warm. I came home and practiced voice and I felt very confident with my voice today! That is exciting! I really thought I sounded relatively nice singing my recital songs. I had my piano and voice lesson and I think I am gonna start taking voice from Mrs. Ingham at the beg. of the summer. The lesson went well. I am not looking forward to waking up tomorrow. I am not sure if I still like the person I thought I liked...its kinda iffy. I mean, he is really nice, but sometimes, he gets on my nerves and I can't decide if i like him or not...well, we will see. I better try ot go to bed now. Goodnight!

There are so many moments in my life when I think really hard about my future. I think about what I want in life and how I can become the best person I can be in these next four years. I hope to be a wonderful, caring person, but at other times, I fail miserably at trying to become this person. In every way, I want to be incredible. I know it is not possible to be "perfect" but I just want to be the girl I think I can be...other times, I feel so unimportant...so stupid...so useless. There is no one in my life I feel like I can really talk to about this kind of stuff. It is really a deep emotion I have and I think it inhibits me from doing a lot of things I would be able to do if I didn't have thoughts like these. But, at the same time, if I did have someone who cared about these feelings I have...I probably wouldn't be able to vocalize them...or even make them make any sense. This diary entry probably makes no sense at all...I don't know how to describe what I feel sometimes....a lot of the time...

I'm delighted! I'm thrilled! I'm EXCTATIC! I'm overjoyed! I'm astonished! I'm jolly! I'm back from New York City and OF COURSE the trip was what I had hoped for and much more. Not only did this trip teach me quite a few things about what I want in life, but it also gave me some perspective and made me have A LOT of fun. Here we go! Sunday night, the night of Easter, I packed my bags and grabbed my hat and coat and jumped in my parent's mini van to head to town theatre. I arrived at the theatre at about 9:35 and put my bags under the bus and found my seat on the bus next to Kirby. I was so excited already and the trip hadn't even started. We set off for the city in our cramped charter bus at about 10 pm and the trip was long and seemed as if it would NEVER end. We traveled through many states and Kirby and I grew more and more bored. First, we tried to entertain ourselves by ripping heads of celebrities out of her magazine and pasting them on pictures of celebrities of the opposite race/sex and we sent them to the back of the bus where Kieth and Lori were sitting. I don't know if it was amusing for them to get the pictures, but it was quite amusing to make them. You see, Kirby didn't know any of the kids from broadway bound, so when she picked our seat, it was pretty far away from everyone else's, which ended up being alright, because we ahd fun on our own...plus, we actually were able to sleep. We slept during the night and in the morning, we arrived in rainy, dreary Baltimore where we stopped for Breakfast. Lori, Keith, Mrs. Wheat, Kirby, and I sat together in the little food court thing and I got some Starbucks. Then, we sat on the bus for a few more hours and finally entered the city! I was so anxious to just get out of the bus and explore the city on my own. But, we had to wait for Dedra to tell us all the "rules" of the trip first...that was torture. BUT FINALLY! we were able to get off the bus and put our bags up in Dedra's hotel room until we were able to check in in ours at 3. Due to the fact that we were all very hungry by this time, Kirby, Lori, Mrs. Wheat, Lou, Mrs. Miller, and I ate at the Blimpie across from our hotel. A woman/man(we weren't quite sure) sat behind us and Bleched over her chinese food VERY loudly...we laughed...haha...i'm still laughing... Then, the two groups separated and Mrs. Miller, Lou, Kirby, and I walked 10 blocks in the rain to Macy's. We just walked around and looked at the pretty flower show in there, but Kirby and I were both hesitant to buy anything, because we didn't want to spend a lot of money in the first few minutes we were in NYC, so we just looked around and then the four of us took the subway back to the hotel. ADVENTURE #1: I TOOK THE SUBWAY FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT DAY! YAY! It was very convenient, but also kinda gross...oh well. Then, that afternoon, after we checked in, Kirby, Elizabeth, Leighton, Keith, Kelsey, Lou, Savannah, Kirby, Catherine Easterby, and some other people and I went to the Broadway Dance Center to take a jazz class. The class was really basic, but the stretch was good and the teacher was nice and funny, so I was happy to be there. But here is the amazing thing...KIRBY AND I SAW A GIRL FROM OUR SCHOOL AT THE BDC!! Her name is Kate Harpootlian and we both saw her at different times and confirmed it was her. I thought that was crazy. She is a really good dancer...she must spend all her free time there or something. After the dance class, Keith, Leighton, Lou, Dedra, Jimmy, Kirby, and I met Lou's friend Rachel Broadwell at this French restaraunt called Pagelli. I had chicken caesar salad, which was relatively good and I talked to Rachel some. She goes to Circle in the Square Theatre School and I asked her a few questions about it, because I am interested in it as a school of study choice. Keith, ont he other hand, practically interrogated her to death, but I don't think she minded luckily. Rachel seemed really nice and her opinions were really developed, which I liked a lot. She also sounds a lot like Emily when she talks. I think it is the fact that they are both actresses who like to ARTICULATE words! haha. After that, all of us went back to the Milford Plaza Hotel and basically just got out of the rain. Kirby and I took showers while Lou caught up with Rachel and then Kirby and I decided to take an adventure and go into Stephen and Keith's room. That was interesting...to say the least! Stephen danced around and talked about Grease the whole time, which was somewhat entertaining...and Keith danced around being...well...Keith. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Savannah joined us in the room along with Lori. That made it a little more fun. Rachel talked to us a little more about how Sara Ramirez, the leading lady in Spamalot lives across the hall from her and we told her to tell Sara to come out and sighn autographs for us when we were to go and see it. She didn't end up doing it...:(. Then, we went to bed. The next day, Mrs. Miller, Lou, K, and I went ot McDonalds for breakfast and I had a really good sausage biscuit...haha. Then, we got ready for the day and the whole group headed to Chinatown. Chinatown was lots of fun. I hung out mostly with Kirby and Kelsey and Lori and Keith and we bargained for purses and I ended up getting an illegal knockoff Prada while Kirby got a Gucci and Lori got a Prada and Louis Vuitton. Baraining was a lot of fun! Adventure #2: Bargaining with the Chinese vender people. I also got a Puma watch that is pink and pretty! Then, we ate food at an Italian Restaurant in LIttle Italy. Kirby, Lori, and I all got Fettucini Alfredo and it was okay, but REALLY messy! We had it all over ourselves by the time we were done! The water at that resaraunt was exeptionally good though! Then, the it started drizzling again, so we went to a YUMMY looking pastry shop and got hot chocolate. We also saw this hooker-looking woman that we thought was a celebrity, but I ended up deciding she was just a whore that an old man wanted a picture with. After that adventure, we went to Times Square, where I showed off my tourist talents by taking lots of pictures of pretty signs...haha. hey, i figure, I am gonna move there someday, but I might as well be a tourist while I can, right? So, we went to the world's largest Toys R US and it was AWESOME! I never thought I would like a toy store so much! It was really cool and we rode on the ferris wheel in it and I bought Meagan some candy bubbles and a pez. Then we went to the overpriced MTV store and didn't buy anything. Then, we went to this really cool Sephora and I bought some nice mascara that makes my lashes look lucious! I like it a lot! Then, we went ot the Hal Leonord Music Store and waited for Keith to buy some music(everything in there was overpriced) and after that, we finally ventured back to the hotel to get ready for Spamalot. Spamalot was hilarious to say the least! David Hyde Pierce was hysterical and I love him so much now! Tim Curry was amazing and I hope I can go see him in it again. Sara Ramirez had impeccable timing and a wonderful, rich voice. I can't wait to buy the cd! I had never seen Monty Python, but now I don't think I will, because I don't think the movie could ever be as good as the musical they made of it! I mean, come on...they have a whole song about how you can't succeed on Broadway without Jews!! HAHA...oh yea, Christian Borle was also wonderful and I loved him as the gay prince, even though in real life he is Sutton Foster's bf and is definately NOT gay! Adventure #3: My first time at a Broadway Theatre Stage door! I had never done that before despite the fact that I've been to NYC before! SO, that evenings show was good, and we got cast autographs afterwards. AFter everyone had exited from the stage door, Lori, Mrs. Wheat, Kirby, and I went to the Jekyll and Hyde club at about 11:30 and Lori and I chickened out on going into the resaraunt the scary way, so we had to enter through the exit...haha..we're stupid. The food was okay, but it was fun going anyway. The next day, Wednesday, most of the crew went on a bus tour of NYC and it was based on where movies and films have been filmed. We went to a lot of cool places, like the SOup Nazi place from Seinfeld and the Cosby Show front steps and the Friends building and the bookstore from You've Got Mail and the apartment building from Rosemary's Baby. That was a really fun tour. AND WE SANG THEMESONGS! haha, that was awesome. This was another time when I felt like a very annoying, picture-taking, Hawaiian shirt wearing tourist. BUT WHAT THE HAY! After that, Kirby and Lou and I rushed to the Virginia Theatre to see *drumroll please*...LITTLE WOMEN! THE SHOW WAS INCREDIBLE. IT WAS AMAZING. I had never seen it and I had only listened to the music once before and I cried so hard during it. I had never even been a huge fan of Sutton Foster before I saw the show. But on the last note of Astonishing...I KNEW...KNEW that Sutton Foster is my biggest inspiration and I had to meet her. Kirby and I even noticed her make eye contact with me as I sat in my 7th row seat in the center on that very last note of Astonishing. But after the show, she didn't come out for autographs. Of course, Lori was DEVESATED. Kirby and I were sad, but we found ourselves and got over it. We tried to cheer Lori up on the way back to the hotel, but nothing helped. So, Hannah decided we would go back to the Virginia theatre that night after Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang that night was...hm...kinda strange actually. I really had no idea what the plot was about and I have yet to figure out why there was a random song about Brazil in the musical! Nobody in it was from Brazil! For heaven's sake! haha...anyway...so, I spaced out a lot during it. The fun parts were when the huge car flew out over the audience. The lighting design and set design were the two things that saved the show at all and they were absolutely amazing. Seems like they SHOULD be for the 20 million dollars or w/e that they spent on it, doesn't it? Adventure #4: I saw a Broadway Show that I didn't like and don't ever want to see again. (NOt necessarily a good adventure, but at least I have seen a flying car.) That night, we went back to get Sutton Foster's autograph and WE DID IT! I was so happy! I told her that she was my inspiration and she said "thanks, that means a lot." Wow, that made me happy! However, when Kirby and I asked for a picture with her, she said "sure" but THEN..SUDDENLY, a CHinese man jumps in the picture out of nowhere and screams "PICTURE!!" so he turned Sutton Foster around the other way and now there is a picture of Kirby and Me with a random Chinese man. Lord Have Mercy. haha. Well, Luckily, Mrs. Wheat did get a picture of Sutton signing our autographs. After we started walking away from the theatre, the funniest thing happened! I was so excited about my autograph, I wasn't watching where I was going and I accidentally stepped on the Subway vent in the sidewalk with my heel on! SO, naturally, my shoe got stuck. THen, being the idot I am, I put my other foot down on the grid so BOTH my shoes were stuck. I REALLY couldn't get lose. All there was left for me to do was to step out of my shoes on to the dirty, grimey sidewalk and pry my shoes up. ANd believe me..its took PRYING! haha...ADventure #?: I walked barefoot for a moment on the streets of NY...I'm such a loser! Then, we went to Planet Hollywood to meet up with the rest of the group, but they were leaving, so Mrs. Wheat took Lori, Kirby, and me to a restarunt near our hotel that was pretty yummy. They had awesome frys! The three of us really craved going on one of those carraige rides through Central Park, but Mrs. Wheat was not really up for it, so we suppressed our urges. Thursday morning, Lou, Mrs. Miller, and I changed our routine and went to Starbucks for Breakfast which was yummy. Then, the whole Broadway Bound Group went to The Apollo Theatre in Harlem, which was pretty cool. IF we wanted to, we got a chance to have our own little amateur night at the Apollo and so Kelsey and I sang a poor renition of "My Girl" but it was fun, so I don't regret it! Hopefully Dedra doesn't think that is how I really sing though! Woops! Then, we ate a pretzel for lunch which was a bit too salty for my taste and headed to the place where our Broadway workshop was held. The whole group of us took a workshop with Sally Mae Dunn from the ensemble of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and it was fun. The dance was pretty easy, but I think I had a brain fart, so I couldn't remember like any of the order of the choreography when we had to show it! OOPS! Then, Lou, Kelsey, Kirby, and I went to 5th Avenue where we went shopping at H&M and I got two skirts and a shirt for a good price! On the street, the three of us bought these HOT pink sunglasses...mine are actually hot pink and theirs are light pink...so we look like pink ladies!! I bought some presents for friends as well. We continued our journey in Saks. Adventure #5(are we on 5?): I bought something in Saks with my very own Check card! Talk about being an exciting and independant person! What did I buy, you ask? I bought a bottle of really expenisive perfume and I was so proud! It is Chanelle and I have never owned perfume before! I like it a lot. I was also quite proud to carry a Saks bag around! He he. However, this splurge also made me kinda poor. On the way back from Saks to our hotel, Kelsey, Kirby, and I were walking with our sunglasses on, linked arms and being annoying in the way tourists, when all the sudden, Cole runs out of a restaraunt that we were passing and screams me and Kirby's names. We turned around and were so shocked to see Cole standing there! What a small world! of all the odds, she happened to be in the same restaraunt we were passing by when she looked out the window! It was awesome to see her in NY and we talked to her for a little bit, but Lou and Stephen(who had joined us a little earlier) were antsy to go. SO we had to say bye to Cole, but it was so fun to see her anyway! That night we went to see Dirty Rotten Scoundrels which was fantastic! The best part: JOANNA GLEASON WAS IN IT!!!! AHH! I LOVE JOANNA GLEASON MORE THAN ANYONE! I really had no idea she was in it and when I saw it in the program, I began having heart palpitations! Okay, so not really...but ALMOST! Anyway, I loved her in Into the Woods and I really wanted her autograph, but she didn't end up coming out. However, I am just glad I got to see her live on broadway. Adventure #6: I saw Joanna Gleason live on Broadway! OKay, so I think I forgot to make seeing Sutton Foster live on Broadway from teh 7th row one of my big adventures, but it should have been one. Anyway, that night, we went ot the Stardust Diner and Emily was there. She is so nice. I didn't really get to talk to her though, but maybe I will this summer or something if she visits and I am hanging arund Hannah and Cate or something..i dunno, let's hope! Anyway, so the Stardust was really yummy...I got the best oreo shake EVER IN MY LIFE...which is good, because it was worth the 6 dollars! Um, and I wanna work there, because the people are really nice and they sing and dance and I wanna do that for my waiting job! It's a really cool place. The next morning, it was time to say goodbye...and I wasn't ready. I don't think any of us were. Kelsey and Kirby and I took some last pictures before boarding the bus and headed for the long journey home. ANd here I am...after my first day back at school. I dread school tomorrow. ONly 34 more school days left til summer though! Thank the Lord! P.S. I forgot to mention going to St. Patrick's Cathedral... that was really cool. I said a prayer for the Pope the day before he died. I hope he is happy where he is now. That was a long entry. I am going to bed now! You are THE COOLEST if you read it all!!

Maybe not. :'(

I like a boy! He is very cute and nice. I hope he likes me back...*crosses fingers*! Hi, I'm Mary and it was nice to meet you!

Well, in 8 days, we will be on our way to NYC! I can't wait. I am so excited I could just jump up and down screaming right now! But alas, I am not jumping up and down screaming right now...instead i am writing this. Anyway, I am really excited about New York and I keep getting more and more excited the closer the time gets. I hope I have enough money with me when we go. I really don't wanna end up being broke while I'm in New York! That would be terrible. I hope that I can get the Little Women tickets too! Yay! That is gonna be a really good show. One other thing I am somewhat nervous about is who I am rooming with and who I am supposed to hang out with the whole time. Like, what if I get stuck with somebody I don 't like and have to walk around with them for the whole trip?! Hopefully Dedra won't place me with someone who's annoying...but hey...i never know! Anyway, now that my little mary freaking out thing is over, I will say that this has been the lOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOngest week EVER! I was sick and I had a show thurs-sat and like 4 tests that I don't think I did very well on on Friday and my life just feels like a mess. I haven't practiced piano in like 4 days either! AH! Scary... Ok, I think I am done with this for today.

I find myself typing these entries just to please people so they will comment. Haha, lately I haven't really gotten anyone to comment, but I realize...WHO CARES?! I mean, it's MY diary right? SO why do I feel the need for other people to comment so much. I like my diary and that's all that matters! HUmph! Anyway, wow, its been a looooong two days. yesterday morning I woke up with really bad stomach cramps and threw up all over the place. I stayed home yesterday being sick and nasty all day and not being able to go anywhere. I fainted like twice yesterday. I stayed home again today too. Today it was more of just a weakness thing though. I still had a temperature when i woke up this morning. I missed a Geography test and a math test on logarithmic functions yesterday and i am so nervous, because I am going back to school tomorrow and I have to make-up my math test during second period! AH! I hope I studied enough...it sure seems like I studied a lot! This afternoon, I finally dragged my butt off the couch and took a much needed shower before I had to do my hair and make-up for dress rehearsal tonight. Dress rehearsal made me feel much better suprisingly. I think I just needed to get up and walk around and make myself stronger. Unfortunately, I messed up the high note on my song, but I will nail it tomorrow! Yay...That's the spirit! I can't wait until the show opens tomorrow. i hope a lot of people come! If you are reading this: Come see MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING at Dreher High School Auditorium on March 17-19(thurs-sat) at 8 pm! Be there or be square! Don't miss it! Elizabeth May is Beatrice and Ali Collins it Hero and all my sophomore and freshman cool peeps are in it and it is a good show. Anyway, now I am done. Only 11 days til NYC!!!!!! WAHHH! YEA BABY! NEW YORK CITY HERE WE COME!!!!!!