I guess I should have posted this a long time ago.. Well, to start off with, I have changed dramatically within about 8 months. If you knew me then and you meet me now, I am a completely different person and the only similarities I have with that old personality is that we both have a past. But I deal with it now much more constructively. I am an open minded person. Though I am very insecure, I know the people I love most think I am a good person and that is all I need to be confident in myself. I believe that I am at least twice as intelligent as the majority of the human population. I know that's a bold claim, but it is truly how I feel. I am a socialist and am an Atheist. I would like my beliefs to be respected as I try my best to respect the beliefs of others. If you were hoping this would tell you all you need to know about me, I'm afraid you're sadly mistaken. I'm a person that you need to talk to quite a bit before you catch onto my tendancies. Being so insecure, I distance myself from any social life beyond one or two friends. Because of my isolation, I am very dependant on the few people I love and care about. Because of that dependancey, I fear abandonment and respond poorly to change. I find the smallest daily tasks, such as making apointments or going shopping, more than a hassle and avoid them if possible. As I stated before, I am much different now than before. I am no longer a whining, pity seeking emo kid who cuts herself and thinks she has it worse than anyone else in the world. No matter what life throws at me, I will not render myself to a pathetic stage of mindless indulgence in my own self pity. And anyone out that acts that way needs a reality check and should grow up. It's embarrassing. Because of my ME (myalgic encephalitis) I am exhausted most of the time and sleep as much as possible. Of course, I'm condradicting myself, because I sleep little, if at all, most nights. I have a paranoid fear that one day I'll wake up and everyone I love will be gone because I've slept so long. So I sometimes wish to avoid sleep, even if I am on the verge of collapse. I I hate leaving my house, but love the idea of travelling. I often go in my backyard and just stare out at the city pondering what I'm going to do with my life. I want to possibly be a a writer and a psychologist. The world is my playground, but honestly, slides and see-saws are just not my thing. I used to draw anime loads, but have since given up as my interest in TV and things like that has died down and I am more focused on writing and emotios. I plan on getting books on the stages I mentioned that I am interested in so I will be able to study them and maybe someday go to college. While I know that I am intelligent, I am not very knowledgeable and know nothing, really, about politics except the following; George Bush needs to be taken out of office and Tony Blair needs to be taken out of office. I have an overwhelming fear of death. I get paranoid that people such as the mail man or near by construction workers are trying to kill me. I am nearly in tears if a plane flies over my house as I think it will bomb me. I am extremely self-aware and at the same time I confuse myself into holes. Whenever I cross-examine myself, which happens frequently, I can never quite understand why I feel some of the things I feel. I have a low opinion of myself in that respect, as I despise pity-seeking, yet often catch myself trying to be innocent. However, I am trying to accept that it is human nature to defend yourself. Well, I that's am all I'm to let you know about me without actually speaking to me. If you would like to get in contact with me, please feel free to e-mail me.