I look around and I don't like what I see. Maybe I have too much time on my hands. Maybe I think too much. Maybe that isn't even it. But for some reason these two weeks off from school have not been what I expected, but nothing is anyways. I miss EVERYTHING about him. These last days have been hard. I've let the past haunt me but I cannot seem to help it. I miss EVERYTHING from the past. I don't have anything to look forward to except my future. Anything is a bad word I suppose since my future is ultimatly my life. I have no passion I have no desire... its taking a toll on me. All along I looked down on those who were dependent on people. But I guess in the end I have sadly come to realize I AM dependent on people. Maybe thats not even it...I can't explain it. I just need that person to bring out the qualities in me that I cannot bring out myself alone. And for that... I find myself weak. I love the computer. I can delete my words so easily. My thoughts so easily. Someone said something to me yesterday... I have no respect for those who ruin themselves and their life and then cannot take responsibility for their actions. <.NOW THAT...THAT is a fucking weak person.> Yet...I miss her. Do I miss her as a person, Do I miss her insight, or do I just miss the attatchment? He is right. If you cannot change those around you, You should work on changing yourself. Because we all have qualities we do not like about ourselves. Maybe that will be my inspiration, my goal. To work on the qualities that I do not like about myself and maybe then I can be more satisfied. "Honesty is a hard attribute to find When we all want to seem like we've got it all figured out I may be the first to say that I DON'T HAVE A CLUE I don't have all the answers "