I get confused inside my own thoughts. The thoughts are always questioned, but never the feeling. I don't know why I have fallen so hard. I don't know why I can't get him out of my mind. I don't know why he is in my dreams. I hate this. I hate the fact that as soon as I pull away he comes close. As soon as he comes close I pull away. We won't ever be together. That is not exaggeration, that is a fact. I just want to embrace and soak everything he is entirely until I am satisfied..until I feel transformed. I am craving for it. Will I be disappointed?> Will I feel satisfied? Will it all wash away like everything else. Hes like the ocean to me. The waves come back and forth, always washing away, and bringing back. ALways washing up something new, unknown, but real. He is always bringing about these new feelings consistantly back and forth. While all these feelings throb through my body. He is like those waves. Sometimes small, sometimes big, sometimes aggressive, sometimes gentle. He can never wash me away eniterly because he always brings me back. But no matter what. No matter where you are in life. No matter what state of mind you are in. No matter where your located, the ocean will ALWAYS be beautiful at any moment. Storm, pollution, people...whatever it is, it never takes away from this illusion the ocean portrays. This illusion of beauty is always left untouched. No matter what he does to me, no matter what he doesn't do, no matter what he says, no matter how he acts, he will always be beautiful to me. Because no one sees his beauty like I do. So they beauty he portrays is noticed by me and whether the people around him change him, affect him, refuse to comprehend him, or destroy him, his beauty will always be untouched. It is real. The only difference is that his beauty is not an illusion. and I ....will always hate him for that. But I will always love him for that.