On wednesday I will be nineteen years old. I don't even care. Whats the point of enjoying life when your alone. When you have no friends that you like or even respect, and the man you love threw you away like your nothing. I'm trying to be okay. I think I'm okay. I guess I'm so blank faced. Nothings fun. I don't even enjoy life. People say you dont need a man, no ...you don't need anything. But love. Life is not worth living if you do not have someone by your side. I get up everyday alone...and I go to bed alone. It used to be okay. I know it was a hard relationship but I used to be okay. I used to wake up alone...but at the end of the night...I always had him. Not anymore. I don't have anyone. Not anyone that is supposed to be there anyways. Family. Family is there. But I want him. I don't even find anyone else attractive. I don't want anyone else. I don't want to hook up with anyone. I only want his lips. His hands. His embrace. ANd since I can't have it. I don't want anyone else. and that. >Thats love< THeres not an hour in a day where I don't think about him. Maybe he will move on. The thought alone devastates me. But I. I will never be okay without him. Why? How? How is it so easy for you? Now all I have left is devastating and pathetic memories of the people who betrayed me or I guess...I betrayed. how could I hurt such a beautiful person? Hes better off without me. and maybe I'm better off without you. Maybe not because saying that will never sound nor feel right.