Listening to: Down And Away-Here I Am To Worship
Feeling: fresh
i decided i really need to start being a better christian and actually be what i say i am. im so over pretending to be all goody goody in front of people at church and then going and doing stupid stuff. im over it. i dont want to have to do stupid stuff to make myself feel better and stuff like that. i mean i know im going to slip up. yeah i cuss and i know that its hard to like stop but its the big things that are hurting me. i already quit doing drugs and now im quitting drinking. i dont know why i called myself a christian when i was driking and doing drugs. thats so retarded. i want to be able to have a good time without turning to my old ways to make me happy because that is the only reason i did it. i want to be able to have good friends who are good influences. im not saying i want to be perfect because i know that is never going to happen. but i definatly want to not drink or do drugs anymore because it is ruining my life. i want to be able to go to church and not feel guilty. i want to be able to go out with someone who isnt a druggie or who wont influence me to do stuff like that.im over it. my therapist says im still depressed but im working on it. i havent gone to her in a while and im doing alright. hopefully this pays off.
Vienna. [xpiecedange2x]