worst morning of my life. ugh. i dont think i can do this anymore. ive tried so hard, put so much effort into being better. but it never pays off. not for him at least. i dont think i can live there anymore. its just not working out. fuck my life doode this is so lame. and he never thinks any of this is his fault. none of my anger, none of my sadness, nothing has to do with him. yeah fucking right. everything is his fault. he causes me to be like this and to keep all this anger inside so i finally explode. like yeah ok maybe i do need therapy but fuck doode he needs to go in a mental hospital or something. hes the craziest person i know. and he thinks he doesnt explode? him exploding is what makes me do it. so he needs to take some of the blame. he can never be the adult in any situation. he looks to me and addisyn to be the bigger person. its like okay asshole whos the parent here. if he wants us to be the adult in these situations then i shouldnt even have to listen to what he says anymore. if he looks to me to do all the work then why listen to him? if he tells me not to go somewhere why should i have to listen when ive been taking all the responsibility in the whole fucking house because hes immature and he doesnt know how to take care of us. he needs to face it. he cant do it without my mom and until he figures out what the fuck hes doing, i dont want to live there. because im sick of being the adult. im a kid for christs sake i need to be a kid and not have these types of responsibilities. i hate him. seriously. hate. he doesnt understand that thats how our family works. when were at his house, thats what we do. we fight. thats all we do is bitch and fight and yell and cry. i told him that and he thinks otherwise. ok asshole take a look around.what are we doing right now and what have we been doing every time we come to stay with you? thats how we work, thats what we do, thats us. period. he needs to fix himself or get the fuck over it. so much for a happy christmas. whatever. at least i have the best friends EVER. and the bestboyfriend. to keep me alive. they are what puts the happiness into me. cuz if all i had was this shit. i would probably be crazy by now. this needs to go away now. and if he doesnt fix it. i will. ♥♥♥ You are what keeps me alive.