For once i am overloaded with the sense of nothing. The last three months I have almost literally done nothing. I go to work I read big long books and I stare at the wall. Then i listen to my favorite radio show and I go home to sleep a bit and if lucky do something usefull in the day. But after thats all done and everyone else goes to sleep I might as well be back at my job sitting mindlessly reading one more novel and staring at one more wall. On the bright side I am finally fincilally stable. I have money and I can get things done. I will be debt free by the end of this year if I stay focused on my plan. I will have a car by the end of the year if i stay focused on the plan. Go back to college next year if I stay on the plan. Everything will fall inot place if I can just stay on the plan. Which wont be to hard. Its only five more months and everything will be better again as far as the money issue is concerned. Car, money and future. All the things that I have been fighting for, are all in my grasp just over the horison on m life. Now if I had less time to think about it I wouldnt be making myself crazy. But working 60 hours a week in a mind numbing job were I do next to nothing and get paid for it. Sounds great but it takes a lot of will for me to be so idle. To remain so isolated 5 out of the seven days each week. It makes one empty inside. Hollow from lack of human contact. But it is the gateway to my new life and one more path to being sucessfull. I just wish it wasnt at the price of my sanity and and my mind. But I will survive this willful exile from the world and will make it through the darkest part of my life so far stronger and more capable for it. So for that much I should be happy. Not going midly insane with the solitude and boredom.