wow. drama rising. so the gas in my car froze and that's why it won't start. my dad he had to thraw the engine out and so he accidentaly burnt the plastic that hangs below the front of my car. it looks so bad. and dad also told me that i have a CO2 alarm in my car now. if it starts beeping i need to roll down the window or else i'll die. i'm getting a second job inorder to obtain a new car. i do fuck up a lot of things. i saw jon last night. he lives in a trailer with five other people. they had a party. a real party. with lots of people, drugs, and rum. i don’t like drugs and I don’t drink that often. but i was at the party in a trailer with mice and trash all over the floor. don’t get the wrong picture. i hate parties. my friends are totally into it now. when we were freshmen partying was this crazy and bad thing to do. oh no we could never party. now my friends are addicted to weed, drinking in the morning before school. shit has gone hard core. at the party last night people were offering ecstasy. last night i was feeling sociable. after work me and these two women whom I work with went to Taco Bell. we ate and exchanged funny stories. it was fun. then I came home. called sam. she begged me to go to the party. i was like no I don’t have a ride. she said fuck, i’m finding you ride. she woke me up at 2 a.m. to go to the shitty party.. I had some everclear in a room full of people. then people started talking to me about orgies and these lesbians who were coming soon. i said to myself, fuck. i need to go home. i left the room. i sat next to jon in the living room. we watched joe play final fantasy ten. we were sitting really close and not saying anything. then the lesbians came in. jon said that he was going to bed. i was able to conjure up the balls to ask him to drive me home. he had a car, and he wasn’t intoxicate. only a hand few of people weren’t drunk. then we left. in the car jon told me all his problems. PROBLEMS. his life is more messed then mine. a cop pulled jon over. jon didn’t have his insurance registration. in alaska you have to have registration proof or else BIG pricy ticket. the cop asked for my id and i didn’t have it. it was like four a.m. i felt so bad. I told jon sorry for causing hell. so i felt bad. jon felt bad. he put his hand my shoulder and said everything would be fine. I hugged him and it was like a hard and long hug interrupted by the cop. he gave jon a warning, and told us to wear our sit belts. after that we were so happy. we got to my house. and we talked. i pretended to be a therapist and I kept on asking how things made him feel. and he answered each time. he said he was lost, without a cause, unsure. we kissed. and we went to my room. I told him to have a good day when he left. He said that his morning turned out pretty good. shit...i really need to grow up.