I've been feeling better about my whole life. I'm not sure why. I kind of kick the living shit out of myself from time to time. I think this journaling thing has helped me out a lot. I bought a journal for when I feel anxiety which happens from time to time. A few days ago I thought something was wrong with my eyeball and that I would go blind. I was afraid I started crying. I turns out though that I'm not going blind any time soon. I hate feeling anxiety. Ever since the 8th grade I throw up on the first day of school. My senior year I didn't show up the first day because I knew I would end up throwing up. I throw up if I'm riding on an airplane for to long. I can't sleep when I get in fights with people. If I get a new mold on my body I think I'm getting cancer. I get angry at myself for little things. The anxiety goes away, I just to spend some time alone. I'm fine though. I don't think I would need pills. I hate pills and doctors. My step mom is a nurse and she has a drawer filled with those orange containers that pills come in. She takes pills like Prozac and she's still fucked up. Worse of all she's been smoking for years. Why even take any pills? She's going to die young and painfully due to the fact she's been smoking since her teen years.