it seems like no matter where you go people are all the same. youll always find them in different forms when you've thought you've gotten away from them all. they'll always be there and it always crashes at once. it never changes or fails. so dont get your hopes up thinking that running away will solve all your problems. its even worse, this time i cant run away, i cant escape it at all. im stuck and i have to look at those faces everyday for the next 6 months. i have this horrible urge to just run despite the consequences. i just wanna run into the water and dive head first with my board and erase it all. erase the mistakes, erase the regrets, and erase the mistakes im gonna make. i dont wanna know at all what im getting myself into. i need to drive. a sanctuary. where i feel safe. i want to smile and burn bright. for good reasons. im tired of always putting myself into these same situations. i guess i need to dumb myself wayyyy down, get fatter, be bitchier and needier, do less behind closed doors and then i would be the perfect girl right? if your gonna shake the totem pole, atleast shake up not down. maybe then i could understand, but im a stupid stupid girl.