(85) I Hate My Life

Today I would say has been the worse day sence me and Dustin have been dating. See Dustin once smoked ciggs and he stopped. But he wrote me a note saying he wanted to cut himself and have a cigg. Now if you know me, I HATE drug, ciggs, cutting, you name it. and he knows that, thats why I know he won't. Well also in this note he ASKED me if he could. Ofcourse I'm going to say know. I want to know what the hell he was thinking when he asked me that. So I wrote him a note back saying if I mean so much to him then why would he think about cutting or doing ciggs but even worse he asked me if he could. Then he got all mad at me, he wouldn't hold me, he wouldn't talk to me, and he wouldn't even kiss me. I told him to talk to me at lunch but all he said was, "Why should I talk to you I guess you mean nothing to me." He has know idea how much I have cryed today. But I had my bestfriend Cody there for me. Cody is sweet. When I was cring he was like Cassandra... I looked up and he said "I Love You" (lol) After 3rd hour I asked Dustin if he was ever going to talk to me again and he said yes(well he could have started there.) Then on the way to class Dustin gave me a hug and started to walk away. I was like "are you going to kiss me?" He looked at me and was like "fine" and came back, kissed me and he said he loved me. Ofcourse I said it back! After school nothing really happened, he hugged me, gave me a kiss, and left. But he didnt say he loved me. I was like Whatever. I just want to know why he is mad, I'm I really that stupid and I can't see it. Do you see why he is mad at me? I asked my friends and they don't know why? I'm going to go now I might update this when I get off the phone with Dustin. Thank you Cody for being there for me. lylab And thanks to all my friends that i talked to have help me get through this fuckin day. I Love you Dustin, Know matter what happens!!!xoxoxo ~Cassandra --------update------ After I was done writing in this diary I called Dustin And told him that it was buggin the hell out of me, and I wanted to talk about it. He told me that he was just sittin there hoping I would cal before I went to my figure skating classes. We talked about it and now everything is ok. I knew we would of figured things out. We are just going about life like nothing ever happen but ever once in a while we talk about it. I Love you so much Dustin!!! xoxoxo ~Cassandra
Read 3 comments
hey sweetheart!! I am sorry about what you wrote about. I am here for you you know that.. I love you! Brittany
[Anonymous]
I hate all that stuff too.. so i totally know what you are feeling with it *hugs* ~mel
[Anonymous]
I love you baby....you mean the world and more. The reason I got pissed was because it seemed like u were mad at me for asking and because you said "If you care so much about me...". All just a missunderstanding.

I love you more than words can express...You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen or met.
[Anonymous]