I want to leave. I want to get up from my chair right now, and start walking. Open my front door, walk through it- following my feet instead of my head. I don't want to care about what time it is, or what tomorrow will bring; I don't want to care about where I am going, as long as I am going. I have spent my whole life worrying about where I am going, and never worry if I am going or not. I'm constantly worrying about what other people think about me, and if my relationships between myself and them are okay. I spend so much goddamned time thinking about other people than myself, and often end up trying harder to please them. I'm tired of worrying about people whom don't feel the same. I spend so much time and energy, and all of my efforts become subsequently unnoticed and quickly forgotten. I feel like everything I touch gets dusted clean. I'm angry. I'm mad at myself for wasting so much time about people who don't care- I'm mad that I've wasted all of this time in which could be spent making other people happy, or myself happy. I feel like a failure. All of my grades from my finals were below average, and have subsequently affected my mood and outlook. I feel like I can't do anything right, even though I try my hardest. Apparently, I must not be trying hard enough if I consistently fail like this- my social life included. I feel very disconnected. I don't feel like myself anymore. I don't know who still likes me anymore, or who just consideres me a mere acquaintance. I don't know who anyone else is anymore. It seems like everything I once knew has been flipped around- that the more I know, the less I understand. All I know is that I don't want to be here right now. I don't want to go to school tomorrow, or for any of the following days. I don't want to wake up in my bed like all of those other mornings. I'm sorry if anyone got offended by this post. I feel that it is important that I stated how I felt before I bottled this in any longer. I don't hate anyone, nor do I have any reason to. I'm just not feeling all too great right now.