I have had this recurring dream for the past four/ five years now (I'm not kidding either, I've had this dream for a while), and it's beginning to bother me. The dream itself is odd, and I always wake up frustrated and angered after I have it. So I figured that if I kept having this dream that maybe it held some sort of meaning that I should give some sort of heed to; maybe it doesn't hold any meaning either and I'm just wasting my time. At any rate, I have this dream where I'm in my bedroom at night and have the burning desire to turn on my light (because it's dark and I want to see, obviously). So I reach over for my light and turn it on- only to find that every light I turn on is dim. The lights are so dim that they barely light my room. So then I become frustrated and start angrily searching for other lamps in my room to turn on in order to light my room- only to no avail. It's a weird sensation too, because I know that when I turn on the light, the room obviously gets a little brighter- but is excessively dim, and this frustrates me. It seems as if the dark from very, very, very dimly-lit room I am in, swarms over me and my sense of being. I get this light-headed sensation and my vision begins to swim as I am searching for more lights to turn on- in hopes of fully lighting the room to see. I hate this dream. I have never before hated anything in my life until I had this dream. I can't begin to describe the utmost detestation I have for this dream- and I really have no idea why. I have a slight insight as to why I dislike it, but I mean- it's a dream. I shouldn't feel this strongly over something that's so intangible. But then again, I don't know. I began thinking about this dream as of last night- remembering that I have this dream frequently and came to the fact that I have never thought about it during my waking state up until then. So I don't have any clue as to what this dream means. It could mean a lot; it could mean a little- it just depends on how much I'll take it for. I just feel like this is something significant- like this is something I should understand and learn from. I think though, that the dream is symbolic for my search of something. That by searching for light to illuminate my room is metaphoric for how I feel. Even if this is true, it's hard to imagine that I would feel this way for five years- considering I've had this dream pretty consecutively now, especially when I was younger. Going along these same lines, my journey into my sleeping/ delirious state is proving to be more difficult than I expected. I haven't had the chance to write anything down, and I've usually been sleeping until morning. The last time I wrote something down was last weekend, and looking back on it I found out that it was comepletely illegible- my thoughts were forced upon the paper into an unintelligble, sleeping scrawl.