where have you been hiding find find find find find find fi

by garo
i'm selfish, self-absorbed, redundant, pretentious, self-critical, overwhelmed, apathetic, emotionally drenched, hypocritical, arrogant, immature, depressed, angry, spiteful, jealous, convicted, over analytical, dependant, vengeful and everything that i hate i become i want to stop caring, i want to stop feeling, i want to stop thinking thinking all of these thoughts, for once i just want some peace and quiet in my head without every single confliction emotion in the vast array of human emotionality painted on a fleshy canvas of spiritual being, being in my head at once, i want to know and i want to be ignorant, i want to love and i want to hate, i want to yell and i want to be quiet, i want to live and i want to die, i want to be nothing and i want to be something, i want to lie down and i want to stand up, i want to run away and i want to stay here, i want to talk and i want to bottle up, i want and i don't just for once. i'm trying really, really hard.
Read 7 comments
Garrr? We need to catch up. I miss the stuffing out of you. Should I call you? Or will you call me?if you dont call me by uh late Thursday i'll call u
[Anonymous]
well, some people hate when i say this, but i'll take my chances.
i guess i kind of know the feeling-if i'm interpreting this right-of thoughts, just so many at one time, that you dont know what to do with your mind after you've absorbed less than half of what your thinking. if that makes sense....i dont know.

i like reading what you write, it's...neat. interesting, it grabs my attention, i guess.
to say the least.

-keshara
Dear Garrett, I found your comment(s) very endearing. What you mentioned, about how there are different types of love...I was watching this movie called "Inventing The Abbotts" with Joaquin Phoenix; and his mother and he are having a conversation about her dead husband, and he asked why she didn't accept another man's proposal after he died. And she says, "Doug, there are two types of love. One is where you love someone no matter what. The other
is when you love someone when the situation is right. I love your father no matter what, and I didn't think it would be fair to put that aside just because the situation was right." And I thought about it, and that is so true. Sometimes there are people who are together just because they want to be with someone or the timing is right. But then, there are those rare instances where there are two people who love each other no matter what, always.
That quote has always stuck with me. I know, time can do nothing but teach us new things that we thought we already knew, but there are circumstances where you just know that you won't ever be able to be without that person. Just because you move away and never see each other again doesn't necessarily mean that you are without them--they are with you, every day in your thoughts. And sometimes, I wonder if I love Kody because I want to be in love
with someone or because I love him no matter what. And I was thinking what would be unforgivable, and I had an epiphany. I realized that love isn't when you can't be without someone... Love is when you see yourself with that person, forever. If you can close your eyes and see you with each other in forty, fifty, thirty, even twenty years... That's love. If you can see them there and know that you'd never be able to fully live your life if they
weren't in your life...That is what love is to me. But then I began to think that every teenager in love is at least partially in love because the situation is right. You're a teenager, we crave affection and empathy and understanding and a connection to another human being similar to ourselves, and you find one, so you date...fall in love. Only time will tell what type of love it blossoms to be. Gosh, this is long. Love, Justine.