okay so im sitting here... and i talked to Nick today. that felt good. i have a good feeling about how all this will work out when he gets here. Even when he leaves i think it will be good. i mean people are really jelous out here, and i can see right through them. However i cant understand as to why they would feel that way. why? cuz i have recently found someone that makes me happy even from a great distance? well if thats the case they should be jellous of my other friends from Calgary too. What? is it cuz i've told a few that i loved him? well i said and mean that about a few people in Calgary too. those people i would give my right arm for. i would go to the ends of the earth and back just to make them happy. so is it really different? what? is it becuse for a few days i will be spending non stop time with one person (and Amber/ Stewart)? well fuck i've done that before. or maybe is it cuz they are all jelous they can't have athe joy that i do. that wounderous feeling of being wanted and wanting back. that really cool feeling you get right befor Christmas morning... but you hold on to it for more than a week. the fact that they are all pitching in just to come and see me. the fact that to them, this misterious person is coming down fro thir friend. well they can all get over it and stop being like that. Hayden seems to have lightend up. maybe my last and final talk i had iwth him snaped him back, although his tendincy to piss me off seems to still be there. i WILL kick his ass if he keeps trying my patiance. dumb arse... and i htink its funny how i have nothign else to write about except Nick. i guess that proves as to how pumped i am for him comign out. there was this chick to day and (i forget her name but i go to school with her) i think its Katie. anyways.. well she was all sad at this birthday party thinger today cuz it was some other chicks birthday and me and Tyler had to swing over there to see if Sara was there and Katie was just sittign on thsi couch all sad looking. (you know, that look that 13 yr olds get) soo i started to bug her. and she lightend up a little. later when she had to go home she was standing outside and i began to bug her... i kinda did my suductive little smile to her. and kept asking. i pulled alot of stuff and finaly she almost craked. so on Monday ill bug her again and get some info out of her. i think that its nothing more than this little crush she seems to have on Hayden. he says to me "ya she was tryign to hold my hand and was laying on me." to which i responded "well who hasn't?" "he began to list every 11-13 year old in the room and me so i said "well were you a dick to her about it." he says "no.." "good." so in the end it good he wasnt a dick but he didnt tell her to screw off. and i know her and him and Hayden is the type that will almost lead you on untill later when he finally is a dick to you. *sigh* so yup... and he keeps fuckign staring at me from across the room! he got himself under control though. if some of you remmeber corectly for a while he had this big anger atack for a few days untill he went to far. if he had kept that up i would have said he was abusive. luckly he didnt reach that level. what else? oh! Tyler was over today cuz it was his Birthday and we had nothing better to do so wanna know what he did? he got naked in my bed. ya, he was nude. and he showed me his boxers. i was liek "dude! thats kinda funny." he says "i cant bileve you dont care." and i respond "ya man, its MY house remember? random and crazy live here." so yup... oh and the sheet was over him so i did what any person in my state would do... (but i wasnt mean cuz he is my good friend and has a girlfriend) but i climbed over top of him kinda slow. and he grabes me to restle but realized he wasn't in a state to do so and i lowerd my body and sat on my heels so my croch was an inch or less away from his and as i went to move my self i put my hands by his head and put my face closer to his sand mushed off of him. (i think i got a total point for that) yup.. i like teaseing people. haha its funny if they get turned on to. i wanted to do worse but it wasnt in me at the time. well i gatta go. its late and im sleepy. PS> a litlle reminder for all of you ... i love late night phone calls even if its a t 3 AM so feel free to call and i WILL be the first to pick up. OH!! P.S.S> me and Nick were having this descution about how (well it kinda got to talking about me in the end) but he was saying something about how i deep down thoguht i was a babe and i said no. id admit to being cute and im totally out going but whne it comes to my body i am very insecure. he dosn't htink thats true. i show my body off as much as needed but as soon as my arm goes across my tummy then i start to feel really insicure. (a little secret for some of you) Later Days! *~Ashley~*