okay this entry im going to try and actually write what im feeling, maybe venting on here will help a little, doubt it but maybe it will. okay, i hate this feeling, the feeling of emptyness. i dont know why i feel like this, i really dont. maybe its just because im bored? maybe. and im also annoyed because i want to do something that i want to do with my life and my parents like wont do anything about it. when people ask me what i want to be when i grow up, i find it hard telling them because i find it foolish telling them what i really want to be, like its something a little girl would want to do. like rebekah called today and asked me that, and i wasnt sure what to say so i just told her. but i want to get into the arts, like singing, dancing and acting. but my parents just wont do a thing, ive asked my mom to let me take singing lessons and she just says maybe, then drops the subject. this year i think i want to change my image. i told a few of my friends that and they didnt really like the idea, i dont know why. i think maybe they think that once i change my style, then ill change my attitude towards them, which i wont, because im not like that. and if they think that i am going to do that and change my personality then i dont think they really know me that well. i think they think that i will become snoody. i was thinking about school today, actually not too long ago and i remembered that i used to be good friends with mackenzie...not just last year but this year too lol then she started hanging out with karah and we just never talked anymore. on a happier note, i found my art pictures that i drew for my final and i noticed it had a grade on it lol i got a 100, i think thier pretty good espcially the boots i had to draw i showed my mom and my grandma and because my mom used to take art lessons, she was a good drawer, so i showed them the drawing of the boots and they were both like "omg wooow" lol when i showed my grandma shes like "you didnt draw these.." im like yes i did lol she didnt believe me. lol i shouldnt of put in my other entry tha amanda hasnt called because she called yesterday, and she was just telling me things like about other people that i really didnt want to hear so i was just like barly listing lol then there was silence and then she said..."...soooo what do you want to talk about?" lol i was just like "...i....i dont care." and i kinda said it like i was annoyed then there was another silence and shes like "uh i have to go ill call you some other time." i kinda felt bad after i said that but...god i cant stand her. well i think im done complaining lol ♥kels