I am predisposed to Depression my first experience was this summer and it sucked and I never want to be there again. It lasted about 6 months probably more but all I could think was I want to get out of here I want to run away. I felt almost like I was to scared to face it but thats not me I dont like to run I am not a coward I am just careful, I am not daring because thats not me. That doesnt mean I dont live life I just dont see the rush that comes from sky diving or bungee jumping and I know when I am older I wont regret it. I get a rush with people I love meeting people and learning about there experiences and travels and stories. Everyone has a history I am just living mine differently. I have two paths in life. one of travel, passion, and mystery. and that is the one that seems more really to me now than the path that leads to having a home and settling down. I want both but its weird I dont think I would want a family to travel with me. I want to go from place to place and never really settle down. I love helping people but I am starting to loose that love and I am starting to live more freely. I mean I feel like charity is like a buisness and you have that family life that gives to charity but I want to work on bring happiness to people I think that would be a dream of mine. I want to get to know people and learn what they love and what makes them happy. that is a charity that is something someone needs... happiness. then world is full of donations and food drives but what about getting to the heart. learn more and help more. I have heard that happiness helps people live long because there is laughter in the heart. I want to help the world and I feel I cant if I am stuck in one place. The catch is need to make money too and save money and the only way I feel I can do it is if I work. I think with the youth there is something gentle in there hearts that can help people. Happiness is something I want to bring. Because if I can make other people happy that might help me find the happiness. smile