historty always repeats itself!! u no what i told someone i cared and they left i let them no that if they killed themselves i dont no what i would do and sure enough they let me down!! y do i always do this io just find ways to hurt myself is like once u blow someonw a kiss u blow them away!! i cried when i heard that poem tonight b/c its true once somone knows u care they leave!! i wanna die so bad i jsut wanna b gone and have the whole thing over i hate myself sooo much!! y cant it all b over!!! anytime i care or get excited it gets ruined but somhow i keep doin it i guess i never learn from my mistakes!! i yelled at my mom and ditched well not really ditched karen but told her i coudlnt do somtin just so today would b perfect a chance to relive the best thing ever and what do i get a complete let down that what i mean!!! god i wanna move back to oakville and b as completely messed up as i was and still shoudlbe!!! i dont no if i could do it or not but who knows history repeats everything must come to an end!! GOOD BYE next moring im still alive unfonititally my mom yells what r u doin today and wakes me up at 11 i was pissed when i said nuttin she got so mad taht i blew her off i hate myself!! so much it hastn went away and bad things never go away good things do but not bad things good things r memmories bad things huant u!! i feel bad b/c nicole thinks that goin out wit nicole after she already had plans wit me itsnt a big deal and that she did nuttin wrong m-lee is just an ass kellie and megan dont reemember being friends wit me to many drunk nights i guess kelsey is there but it was the second time i tried to sopend the night and her mom sent me home and i had to try to explain it to my mom!!! i dunno but the one person who never lets me down and has always been there and i trust more then anything is coming home today and we can mayb go out ot eat or somtin!! fun stufff i cant wait but its like a 3 hour drive but i think her dad already left and its nice outi want her to get home!!!