i can't tell if my headspace is cluttered or empty. S. Padre was fun, but i can't help feeling like i'm always doing the wrong thing. not in a spiritual sense, in a romanti sense. i flirted my ass off down there. and i loved it. but i still have this nagging feeling in the back of my head that this thing with jane is either a great thing or something that will fade fast. but everything goes two ways. where the fuck is my sure thing? there are too many girls for me. and i have to choose. this is way harder than being the guy who never knew when girls liked him. now i know when a girl is attracted to me, and it is so much harder. used to be i went with the one who liked me that i liked. but i like more of them all the time. i'm not a player, and i'm not a pimp. i just want to fall in love.