I find myself comming to this website again all the time. I sign in, I hit the 'New entry' link, and I stare at a bank box not knowing what to write. I forgot how much I use to need his website, how much I needed the people who were here...spinthebottle, loucille, suicidalstella, nick...allthethingsyouhate. You all helped me get through so much, times where I didn't think I could get through another day. And I thank you for that. It got to a point where I no longer needed this journal. I think that now I may need it again. Jessica and I broke up tuesday. Does it hurt? Yes it hurts. But we both know it needs to happen. While we were together we both learned a lot, we grew a lot, and we learned how to stand on our own two feet again. We grew wings again, now it's time to use those wings and fly. The distance is too much, and although I love her, so much, and I know she loves me...It's time to take the seperate roads. I cried about it hich did suprise me. But I am okay. On a more positive note, Christopher told me thursday night that he loved me. I know that he does love me, but for him to be able to finally say that to me really does mean a lot. He leaves for NTC (the National Training Center, California) friday,then he deploys August 5th. He's going to be home next month hen I go home, and we're going to talk. He asked me how I feel about Hawaii (that's where he's stationed), and whatnot. So I don't know what he's thinking but I know he said that I'm not going to expect what happens when we go home... And I'm getting custody of my brother the end of next month. What am I going to do with him?