I don't really feel like being around people today, but shannon came over earlier to keep me some company. All we did was lay around and watch tv, but it helped a little. So i've basically been a mess all weekend. Just little things set me off. I'll be okay for a minute, then i cry again. I just took a shower, and i looked down, and saw the remnants of nail polish on my toes and fingers. I had to lean against the wall and cry. All weekend i've been dealing with things like that. My stereo that he has the exact same one of. The rose petals pressing between my books. The corsage in a sealed plastic bag on my shelf. The bright red dress that sticks out like a sore thumb against the rest of my wardrobe. The mascara stain on the computer desk from me crying a few nights ago. The big box of skittlez dad bought for me a few last week. The picture on my bulliten board. The lists on my computer of songs and pictures from presents for him. The pink hat from my birthday party last year. The pink monkey socks in my drawer. The guitar pick stuck on my wall. Everything. I havnt turned on the radio all weekend. I'm afriad to. I walk through my house and randomly break down. So much for being strong. This is going to impossible, i can already tell. I've been shaking cuz ive barely eaten all day. So tomorrow's my first day of pretending he's not there, except for lunch. It's sad. I feel so alone. I feel scared. That little box for current mood hasn't enough room for all my emotions. So i washed some clothes, just enough for 2moro. I'll do the rest later. For now, im going to finish talking to heather, then go to bed. And take one day at a time.....one very slow day at a time.