[21:46] burnxthisxplace: wut about no? i didnt say no [21:47] kissmecrazy90: earlier i asked if you even cared what happened to us [21:47] kissmecrazy90: and someone on your screenname answered me about an hour later [21:47] kissmecrazy90: and said no [21:48] burnxthisxplace: i wasnt here, as soon as i got home from the movie bens mom came and got me [21:48] kissmecrazy90: then who said it? [21:48] burnxthisxplace: i dunno [21:48] kissmecrazy90: i was at the theater the same time u were [21:48] kissmecrazy90: who wudda been on your computer besides you? [21:49] burnxthisxplace: when i got home i checked to see if u were on and i left it up after i left [21:49] burnxthisxplace: so prolly joy [21:49] burnxthisxplace: her computer isnt working [21:49] kissmecrazy90: ok [21:49] kissmecrazy90: then answer me [21:49] kissmecrazy90: honestly [21:49] kissmecrazy90: from you [21:49] kissmecrazy90: ant tell the whole truth [21:49] kissmecrazy90: do you think its worth it? or do you think i treated you like shit and you deserve someone better? [21:49] kissmecrazy90: i can handle whatever you have to say [21:50] burnxthisxplace: yes i do, but i cant do anything about it right now. Honestly, i think we wont have a chance of getting back together till after i drop and and go to uva, maybe by then i'll have a car and a license, and i'll be in a dorm. So then we could see eachother, but till then i dont think its gonna happen [21:50] burnxthisxplace: not becuz i dont want it to, just becuz it wont be allowed [21:51] burnxthisxplace: maybe when i start driving, but till then i dunno [21:52] burnxthisxplace: So till then i can only be ur friend cuz nothing else will be allowed [21:52] kissmecrazy90: ok [21:52] kissmecrazy90: so [21:52] kissmecrazy90: is my birthday party out of the question? [21:52] burnxthisxplace: and i rele dont feel like getting sent back to alabama [21:52] burnxthisxplace: for right now, but i'll talk to her as soon as she calms down [21:52] kissmecrazy90: you promise? [21:52] burnxthisxplace: i swear [21:52] kissmecrazy90: can i tell you something [21:52] kissmecrazy90: but you cant get mad [21:53] burnxthisxplace: but i dunno wut the answer will be so dont get ur hopes up [21:53] burnxthisxplace: yeah [21:53] burnxthisxplace: u can [21:53] kissmecrazy90: because i already hurt myself anough [21:53] kissmecrazy90: *enough [21:53] kissmecrazy90: ok [21:53] burnxthisxplace: r u gonna tell me [21:53] kissmecrazy90: yeah [21:53] kissmecrazy90: .... [21:53] kissmecrazy90: i saw what you said to krystal [21:54] burnxthisxplace: when [21:54] kissmecrazy90: today [21:54] burnxthisxplace: wut did i say exactly [21:54] burnxthisxplace: and how do u have my new password [21:55] kissmecrazy90: u said it was a good thing, cuz i treated you like shit. [21:55] kissmecrazy90: and you called her hun. [21:55] kissmecrazy90: and about the ice cream and her visiting. [21:55] burnxthisxplace: i call everyone hun, and the last few days i thought u did [21:55] kissmecrazy90: ive had it i emailed it to myself when i had ur old email password [21:55] burnxthisxplace: damn [21:56] burnxthisxplace: now i have to change it again [21:56] kissmecrazy90: well last night you acted like you cared [21:56] burnxthisxplace: dont be sneaky anymore [21:56] kissmecrazy90: and now i feel like you dont [21:56] kissmecrazy90: i wont [21:56] kissmecrazy90: i just [21:56] kissmecrazy90: i wanted to know if u really cared [21:56] burnxthisxplace: i do care, but i cant do anything about it [21:56] kissmecrazy90: and now its hard for me to believe you do...cuz u were rele flirty with her [21:56] kissmecrazy90: brb [21:57] burnxthisxplace: this is my way of gettin off of being depressed evey night till we can see eachother again [21:58] kissmecrazy90: back [21:58] burnxthisxplace: and i cant promise u i wont have other girlfriends, but i can promise u they'll only be flings if anything at all, cuz i rele dont feel like setting myself up for another heartbreak, and the only time i'd do it again is for u in the future [21:58] kissmecrazy90: what is your way? [21:58] burnxthisxplace: but i can promise it will take a while before i even think about dating again [21:58] burnxthisxplace: and when i say a while i mean a while [21:58] burnxthisxplace: if at all [21:59] kissmecrazy90: just dont talk about me [21:59] kissmecrazy90: dont say bad things about me [21:59] burnxthisxplace: i wont [21:59] kissmecrazy90: cuz you know ive treated you better then most [21:59] burnxthisxplace: better then any [21:59] burnxthisxplace: and if i do date anyone there gonna know that [21:59] burnxthisxplace: but i dout t will happen for a while if at all [21:59] kissmecrazy90: ok [22:00] burnxthisxplace: right now my main concern is my job and my band [22:00] kissmecrazy90: ok [22:00] burnxthisxplace: and thats it [22:00] burnxthisxplace: im sorry if this is hurting, but i dont wanna lie to u [22:00] kissmecrazy90: do you have to talk about a few things [22:00] kissmecrazy90: or are you busy? [22:00] kissmecrazy90: its ok [22:00] burnxthisxplace: i can talk [22:00] kissmecrazy90: ok [22:00] kissmecrazy90: gimme a sec cuz shannons on the phone [22:02] burnxthisxplace: wut do u want to talk about [22:02] burnxthisxplace: are u there? [22:02] Meebo Message: burnxthisxplace is now online [22:02] kissmecrazy90: yeah [22:02] burnxthisxplace: ok [22:02] kissmecrazy90: ok [22:02] kissmecrazy90: im off now [22:02] burnxthisxplace: ok [22:02] burnxthisxplace: wut do u want to talk about [22:04] kissmecrazy90: first of all.....if you dont want to make this work, i want you to tell me right now. because i dont want this to be a long drawed out process of pain, which it's gonna be, if its not gonna amount to anything. im hurting enough right now at the thought that your okay with this, but i need to know. do you really want to make this work? [22:05] burnxthisxplace: i want this to work, but i have to be ok with it till its able to happen, otherwise i'll do sumthin stupid [22:05] kissmecrazy90: ok [22:05] kissmecrazy90: you promise your not leading me on [22:05] kissmecrazy90: that im not being set up [22:05] burnxthisxplace: i swear [22:05] burnxthisxplace: i promise we'll be together again [22:06] kissmecrazy90: im afriad of that [22:06] burnxthisxplace: but till then we have to do our on thing [22:06] kissmecrazy90: because i feel like im setting myself to have my heart broken all over again [22:07] burnxthisxplace: if u want, go out with sumone u like, i wont mind, cuz u'll be happy for that moment, just dont fall for him [22:07] burnxthisxplace: cuz then i dunno [22:07] burnxthisxplace: i might have to kill him [22:07] kissmecrazy90: so heres what i have to say...its just a suggestion...you can disagree with anything.....but just listen to me [22:07] kissmecrazy90: ok? [22:07] burnxthisxplace: ok [22:08] kissmecrazy90: so i was talking to molly, i needed someone to cheer me up, cuz ive been crying all day, even when we were at the mall, and during the movie [22:09] kissmecrazy90: and she was able to help me clear my head [22:09] kissmecrazy90: and think [22:09] kissmecrazy90: so you're 18 in 7 months [22:09] kissmecrazy90: and then you can do what you want [22:09] kissmecrazy90: and hopefully, by that time, you'll still want me. [22:09] burnxthisxplace: yeah [22:10] burnxthisxplace: ok [22:10] burnxthisxplace: is there more [22:10] kissmecrazy90: yeah [22:10] kissmecrazy90: so we have 7 months where we can be nothing but friends, if even that. [22:10] kissmecrazy90: and here's my thinking [22:10] burnxthisxplace: ok [22:13] kissmecrazy90: we could go without dating other people, or if we did, nothing too serious, i dont really care, i just want you to be happy. And we shouldn't be all over people in front of each other, cuz that would only make it hurt worse. or like i said, we could take the time to ourselves and not worry about other people. just get to know ourselves better, find out what we really want, make some changes. then maybe when we get back together thing's would be different, maybe our relationship would be stronger. [22:13] kissmecrazy90: but what scares me is that its such a long period [22:13] kissmecrazy90: and what if things change so much, that we dont want each other anymore [22:14] kissmecrazy90: but i kind of think a while apart would do us some good, i mean, still be friends and talk, but nothing more. we've just been fighting so much before this. [22:14] kissmecrazy90: maybe it will help a little [22:15] burnxthisxplace: i think thats a good idea, and i cant tell u if im gonna date anyone or not, but if i do i wont let it get to serious, and i wont kiss then in front of u [22:15] burnxthisxplace: i think it will help alot [22:15] burnxthisxplace: we need a lil while apart without the option of getting back together [22:15] burnxthisxplace: and thats is mostly why im fine with the fact [22:16] kissmecrazy90: and that obviously isnt an option [22:16] kissmecrazy90: i know, but it still hurts that you seem so happy about it [22:16] kissmecrazy90: like you want to get away from me [22:16] burnxthisxplace: but u need to get that shit off ur sitdiary,cuz i did and still do care [22:16] burnxthisxplace: ok [22:16] burnxthisxplace: im not happy, i just have to except it [22:16] kissmecrazy90: and promise me, and dont break it, that we'll always be friends no matter what hapens [22:16] burnxthisxplace: and i dont feel like being so miserable i wanna hurt myself [22:16] burnxthisxplace: always [22:16] burnxthisxplace: i swear [22:17] kissmecrazy90: she can take away everything else, but she can never take away how much i care about you [22:17] burnxthisxplace: and the same goes for me [22:17] kissmecrazy90: and your not gonna like this next part.....but i have to say it anyways [22:17] burnxthisxplace: she'll never take away how i feel about u [22:17] burnxthisxplace: go ahead [22:21] kissmecrazy90: you're selling yourself so short. i wish you wouldnt let her get to you. there is so much more you could do with your life it you'd just believe it. i know i pushed you, but it was only because i wanted to be what i know you can be. i hate how she says your worthless and that you wont amount to anything, because its all lies. LJ you have so much potential, whether you see it or not. And no matter what she, or anyone else tells you, dont give up on yourself. I know you can do anything if you're willing to work for it. And what hurts me more then anything is knowing you dont think you can, and you let her get inside your head and control what you do, how you think. You have to learn to be yourself. You have to try. Thats why im so mad that you might end up failing this year, that you're going to drop out. I wish you wouldnt. i really do. i know you think it will make things better, but if you get a diploma there are so many more things you can do with your life. Don't limit yourself baby, dont let her hold you back. You can be so much more. [22:22] kissmecrazy90: i know its not my place anymore, but i'll never forgive her for that. [22:23] burnxthisxplace: i know [22:23] burnxthisxplace: but i'll decide wut to do when it gets here [22:24] kissmecrazy90: just do whats right for you, not for her. [22:24] kissmecrazy90: and dont sell yourself short. [22:24] kissmecrazy90: cuz ur worth so much more. [22:24] burnxthisxplace: im glad u think so [22:24] kissmecrazy90: no [22:24] kissmecrazy90: i know so [22:24] burnxthisxplace: at least sumone believes in me [22:24] burnxthisxplace: ok [22:24] burnxthisxplace: and u dont be miserable anymore [22:24] burnxthisxplace: do wut u have to to make u happy [22:24] kissmecrazy90: its hard no to be [22:24] kissmecrazy90: *not [22:25] burnxthisxplace: if at all possible, just dont think about me [22:25] burnxthisxplace: get u a lil fling goin with sumone [22:25] kissmecrazy90: im worried about you, and im worried about us, and i just something to fast forward time. [22:25] kissmecrazy90: no [22:25] kissmecrazy90: i dont want anyone but you [22:25] kissmecrazy90: im sure ill be the one sitting here waiting [22:25] burnxthisxplace: i know [22:25] kissmecrazy90: and you'll be with all the other girls [22:25] burnxthisxplace: but do wut u have to to make urself happy [22:26] burnxthisxplace: i dunno yet [22:26] kissmecrazy90: and ill be jealous [22:26] kissmecrazy90: and cry [22:26] burnxthisxplace: we'll see wut happens [22:26] kissmecrazy90: but ill get over it cuz u'll be happy [22:26] burnxthisxplace: i dout i'll be with anyone for a while, if at any time [22:26] kissmecrazy90: just.....dont settle for less then you deserve okay? [22:26] burnxthisxplace: cuz i dont have the time or patience right now for that [22:26] burnxthisxplace: ok [22:26] kissmecrazy90: i'd hate to see you be treated again how you have before [22:26] burnxthisxplace: i no [22:27] kissmecrazy90: thats why ive never given up on you [22:27] kissmecrazy90: and i never will [22:27] kissmecrazy90: so remember that [22:27] burnxthisxplace: ok [22:27] burnxthisxplace: i will [22:27] burnxthisxplace: and do me a couple of favors [22:27] kissmecrazy90: hmm [22:28] burnxthisxplace: remember that i'll always love u, take that lie on ur sitdiary down cuz i do care, and make sure all ur friends no that it wasnt me that decided to break up with u, especially billy, cuz i dont feel like gettin beaten up over sumthin that i couldnt stop [22:28] burnxthisxplace: ok? [22:28] burnxthisxplace: and also keep in mind, we will be together and happy again [22:28] kissmecrazy90: they know [22:28] burnxthisxplace: i swear on my life [22:29] kissmecrazy90: thats the one thing thats scaring me right now [22:29] burnxthisxplace: thats all i ask of u [22:29] kissmecrazy90: 7 months is a long time [22:29] burnxthisxplace: not rele [22:29] kissmecrazy90: things could change [22:29] burnxthisxplace: it would take years to lose all the love i have for u [22:29] burnxthisxplace: and thats a fact [22:30] kissmecrazy90: but what if this ends up being one of those things where, when the time comes to get back together, [22:30] kissmecrazy90: and i mention its time [22:31] burnxthisxplace: dont even finish that [22:31] burnxthisxplace: it wont happen [22:31] kissmecrazy90: and you say, we made that promise a long time ago, things have changed, ive changed, it doesnt count anymore [22:31] burnxthisxplace: it wont happen [22:31] kissmecrazy90: im just really really scared that after i let you go tonight im gonna lose you forever [22:31] burnxthisxplace: just believe me, if u dont believe another word i say believe me on this [22:31] burnxthisxplace: u wont [22:31] burnxthisxplace: please believe me [22:32] kissmecrazy90: but what if u move [22:32] burnxthisxplace: the only thing thats gonna change is the whole smoking issue [22:32] burnxthisxplace: i wont move [22:32] burnxthisxplace: and if i do i'll come ack for u [22:32] burnxthisxplace: back* [22:32] kissmecrazy90: when you drop out, i wont even be able to talk to you anymore [22:32] kissmecrazy90: cuz the only way we can see each other now is at school [22:33] burnxthisxplace: we'll handle that when it gets here [22:33] burnxthisxplace: we'll make a way [22:33] kissmecrazy90: promise me at least this [22:33] kissmecrazy90: you'll seriously consider staying in school.... [22:34] burnxthisxplace: dropping out is the last option [22:34] kissmecrazy90: cuz hey...we're both taking psych next year....we could be in the same class [22:34] burnxthisxplace: so yes, i promise [22:34] burnxthisxplace: i promise [22:34] burnxthisxplace: i have to go though [22:34] burnxthisxplace: joy's upstairs [22:34] kissmecrazy90: ok [22:35] kissmecrazy90: well if you come to school this week, i want one last kiss and hug [22:35] burnxthisxplace: ok [22:35] kissmecrazy90: i love you so much [22:35] kissmecrazy90: bye baby [22:35] burnxthisxplace: i love you too [22:35] burnxthisxplace: bye angel [22:35] Meebo Message: burnxthisxplace is offline [22:36] burnxthisxplace: im only invisible by the way if u wanna send anything at anytime [22:36] burnxthisxplace: i love you [22:36] burnxthisxplace: bye [22:36] kissmecrazy90: ok [22:36] Meebo Message: burnxthisxplace appears offline. Your message may not be received. [22:36] kissmecrazy90: i kinda figured [22:36] kissmecrazy90: i love you too [22:36] kissmecrazy90: bye sweetie [22:39] kissmecrazy90: please dont forget to ask her about my birthday [22:40] kissmecrazy90: and try your hardest [22:40] kissmecrazy90: cuz ill be miserable if you cant come [22:41] burnxthisxplace: ok [22:41] burnxthisxplace: i will [22:41] burnxthisxplace: bye baby [22:41] kissmecrazy90: bye We're gonna make it. And if not, i'll be here for him forever and always, no matter what.