"Take my life. Take take take take take take it away." Those lyrics describe perfectly what I feel right now. Luke is gone, has been for over 12 hours, God only knows where he is. He hasn't even called me. He could be dead and I wouldn't even know it. God I'm so stupid, why did I let myself get so attached to someone with the history he has had. I have almost ruined my life for him. He doesn't even appreciate it. Takes it for granted. Treats me like I'm expendable, maybe I am. God it hurts, so badly, I don't think I have cried like this for years. He breaks my heart over me falling asleep for 3 hours, so he takes off? How fair is that? I wish I was dead, that would be the ultimate, finally when he comes home, finds me dead. That would force him to see what his life will be like without me to bail him out of every fucking situation he gets himself into. I can't believe him, I'm so fucking angry and devasted. I just wasted 10 months of my life living with him, spending all that money and time for what? To be left in the middle of the night?! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!