---------------------------------------------- i wish there was a poetic way to put it, to use sweet words and rythmic tones, but i dont believe in it enough. i've never been strong enough to let go of anything significant without help whether the help comes from a substance, an environment, or people. i'm just no go at healing. i feel like i've been breathing the same air for weeks. like i'm stuck in a box with me and myself and it doesn't feel good at all. it's not that i dont want to step out and leave all this stuffy air behind.. i'm locked in you see. maybe its better this way, only stepping out at night when its okay to feel breathless. maybe when i'm older i'll be able to walk away witout hesitation. right now, i think hesitation is all you have left when it comes to me. that and pictures. and right now, i think thats completely okay with you which makes me wish all of these left-over feelings floating on the surface would just drown. ---------------------------------------------- with you there was never anything to run from. now all you do is run. i drive you away and i can't stop it. i got in too deep and now i'm splashing you away as i try frantically to keep my head afloat. we can't turn back and we can't go forward. i wish nothing ever changed. ---------------------------------------------- i hope i lied when i said i'd love you forever because it doesnt feel good anymore. ----------------------------------------------