I dont know why but right now I feel so alone, like theres nothing in the world for me. After everything thats been happening, I wish the worst would have just happened, I wish I was gone. But then when I think about it, I dont. I need him in my life, but I cant have him in my life, and why? Because he wont let me in. Because I am not good enough. I never have been and I never will be. WHY?! I AM EVERYTHING HE WANTS WHY CANT HE JUST ACCEPT THAT? Without him I am so empty. And all he ever does is break promises, yell at me, ask me to buy him stuff and take him places, ignore me, flirt when no one is around. That night I could feel his heart beating so fast, it felt so right and I know he felt it too, I could tell by the way he looked at me. But friends is all we could ever be. So theres another guy, every time i see him i want to smile. He smiles too. He is nice to me, accepts me, and does everything he can to be around me, even ditch his girlfriend. But why cant I have that either? I dont even know what I want but these two are so close to it that it scares me. I have no idea what to do anymore and I dont know what to think. Why does life have to be so complicated?