I am feelin a whole lot better since the whole accident thing. Yea this is a new diary, sometimes you just get so tired of everything so things need to change... this is small but its a start. Everything is just so... I dont even kno. The cousin is being really mean to me, but his girl is just fine. I bitch too much but its not even half as much as her, and its only when he does stupid shit. But whatever, its his girl. It doesnt matter that for 18 years I was the one he came to with his problems, the only one who cared and listened, but now that shes here im nothin but a stupid bitch, because shes so much better. Hopefully I get to go home today. I would feel bad going home because Ity has to work today, from 5 am until 6 pm and then he would have to drive 3 hours to chicago, 3 hours back and have no sleep! He would be too tired. My uncle wants my cousins girl to go home with me but my cousin is getting mad about that. He wants me to go but her to stay. just for that I want Ity to come tonight but I dont want ity being too tired. I dont kno. I just wanna go back.