It's been a long, long time. I don't know what to put down here. I'm half a world away from any place I ever was writing before. That's literal. This land mesmerizes me. It is somehow all I expected and heaps more. It has stirred in me much, and I'm somehow less sure of things that seemed so solid only a month ago. But that's not true entirely. If I'm being honest with myself. I don't think I'm very good at that most of the time. Indecision cripples me, fear arraigns me, time crushes me. And honesty isn't always so straightforward, so neat and simple; many truths that seem to oppose exist at once, no truth less true than another. I think I'm writing only to fill this space. I think I'm writing only to sort this brain. I think I'm writing because I'm hoping to find a new answer to the question I don't want to ask, a new answer to replace the one I refuse to consider. I don't know what I'm doing, but I think I'm growing a way I never expected--distant. I curse this emotional geography.