Okay. So last night was not what I wanted...nor expected...but I'll deal. It wasn't so bad. After we left that stupid party anyway. Today was boring. I missed doughnuts at Meghan's house. =( What a terrible shame. My mom decided to pick me up early so that I could come home and clean my room. Oh, how thoughtful. lol. I did promise to be home early to do just that...but usually early is decided according to the time I wake up. Oh well. I wish I were more social and better at associating with people. I have lots of friends, but the majority of them are more like acquaintences, and then I have a few that I can really talk to. A few being, like, two. Why don't things ever work out the way I want them to? Expect one thing, get the opposite. You pay for this, but they give you that. (anyone notice my allusion? I bet Meghan will. and she's the only one who reads this anyway, so why do I ask?) Sometimes I get so frustrated about things. I just want things to go how I want them to sometimes. Ah, I miss the "old" days. Good friends, fun times. Now it's the same friends (for the most part), but less group gatherings, weaker bonds. Yeah, I know things change, but why does it always seem to be that the things that are going well and seemingly strong are the things that change, while everything that needs to change, should change, goes on the same, sometimes worsening? I should probably go to sleep. I am not really very tired though. I have to go to the stupid swap meet thing tomorrow to work...from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. That sucks. Lately, I have been getting so irritated with Robert. More so than before. I don't know why. Just little stupid things. And I feel kind of bad because some of the stuff there isn't even any reason for me to be angry with him, but I snap or am short with him about it anyway. I yelled at him today though. He made me so mad. "We make the decisions in this house, Katie. Not you." Yeah, well fuck that, you weren't the one to watch the kids, so why would you give a damn if there was an extra kid here? It's funny. None of my friends have ever seen me truly angry. Not that I recall. Sure, I've been extremely frustrated before, annoyed, yes, sad, well...a couple have seen me sad, but not to any extent. I wonder what anyone would think if they saw me truly mad? Half the world thinks I'm quiet all the time. For the most part, and the other half doesn't notice me anyway. But whatever. I don't want to go to that swap meet to work tomorrow. I have too much homework. And...well, I don't know. I want to be by myself for a while. Little chance of that happening. Always someone here to be bothered by. I was disappointed. No "Rocky Horror Picture Show" today. That I saw. "Space Jam" was on...and I really wasn't in the mood. Mom and Robert retrieved some things from storage today while putting other stuff in there. They got one of my boxes of animal/dinosaur toys out so I could "reminisce". Lol. That I did. Dude, there were so many in that one fairly small box... I want to see all of my dinosaurs though. I had so many! And I would like my tyrannosaurus rex. He was awesome. I also want to know if any of my old Ninja Turtles are in there. Robert had another gig today. He's got one tomorrow at the same place, and then he's got a few more booked throughout the rest of the month. I like how he got a new guitar, got Sarah an electric guitar...her choice, and is all up on teaching her and stuff, while he got me a book, showed me a scale and left me to myself when I've been asking for lessons and wanting to learn how to play since I was probably three. Dude, I do not know what has been making me so frustrated lately. Okay. I think I might go do some math. As odd as that sounds. I find it very relaxing most of the time. It's so methodic, and I know I can always solve the problem, difficult or not, even if it takes a while. Then again, I think I might have trouble concentrating on that right now. I think I will go read instead. I don't know what, but I haven't done that in a while. Then I'll fall asleep to some music. And wake up to the beginning of a brand new day with a fresh start. Oh how bloody cheesy I sound. G'night.