I like him. i wish i could just be with him, i really wish i could. i never have good relationships. never. its like i chose the wrong guys or something..but he seems so wonderful, wonderfully wonderful. if you understand what i mean. i wish he knew. i really did..but i cant tell him. because...there is a problem. my friend likes him too. we both know the we both like him. but its terrifying, to know, that he might go to her. i will not be mad at her, i could never stop being her friend, ill be upset..yes..but..she is my friend, and if he goes to her. ill be behind them 100 percent. even though it will hurt me. its just a scary thought though. what to do about this. i dont think there is anything i can do. i can just feel this heart break coming, the start..of it building up, me hanging out with him more and more, getting more and more into him, and then he gets with my best friend, it makes me feel weak. i made a bowl, out of clay, i made coils with the clay and stuck them together to form a bowl, its pretty neat. i glazed it with monsoon seas glaze, (which is sorta like a paint, and it colors the clay when its dry, yeah..monsoon seas is a blue color, very pretty) and put it in a kiln twice, so its nice and dry and hard and its workable. i have to go..my wrists and hands feel so weak from thoughts today, and i just dont know what to do. piano lessons tonight..that will cheer me up. thats it. ...