i am feeling very uncreative and unorginal right now. it's one of those moments where you need to do an impression of natalie portman in garden state. i should really do that but then my family would be like "jamie what are you doing". i don't really feel like a sophomore right now. i feel like i'm a 4 year old. that makes no sense at all but it does to me so shut up. BLAH. i just need to get out and like be.... something. i wish i had SOME outlet to like vent all my feelings and emotions, but i am virtually talentless, so i'm stuck. cuz i can't play guitar or sing or write poems or anything. except even if i did i don't really know what i'd say. i just feel like i'm not being honest with myself or something. i feel like there are so many other things out there that i can be experiencing and i'm missing out on them. except for how am i supposed to experience those things when i live in fricken suburbia? i just want to meet someone who changes me outlook on life completely. who makes me see everything in a different way and sees everything as beautiful. and i want to go lie out under the stars like in sisterhood. and i want to go lie in the middle of the street looking up at the street lights. and i want to go to the state border and straddle the line and be in two places at once. i want to live by the beach and wake up looking out over the water. things like that. moments that make life seem worth it. moments that make you feel allliiiiiiiivvvvvvvveeeee. this entry makes no sense.