Today, I lost my first real job.

It wasnt my fault.

Well.. i guess it kinda was.

My past mistake definitely held me

back.

I have two and half months to find another job.

...I just had to write that out to really see it..

I almost ruined my life. I almost lost it all

to get to a guy who couldnt have cared if I

came at all.

Reading this in retrospect I feel low. Sick even.

I thought i learned my lesson. I thought i walked away.

I thought I was done--making these same mistakes.

It took, a reckless driving charge-an 800 dollar fine, 2 years

probation, and my first real heartbreak to wake up.

My first real hartbreak has nothing to do with a man.

Today I sat in a room with everyone i respected and was

told I had to leave come June. It was surreal.

I knew it was going to happen. I saw it coming.

But it still shattered me into a million pieces.

My heart hurts, my head hurts, but I feeel so much

love my family. I wouldnt be as far in life without them

They are each so lovely, so gracious, and most importantly--

so incredibly damn inspiring. I am truly truly blessed.

I know with them, I'll be alright. Ill rise from this. Stonger.

Better... I just know I can