Ok lets talk about me being helpful, nice, and benevolent. So what do i do everyday? i help people from fixing a computer problem, loaning someone a monitor, making someone smile because they are feeling down, etc. and let me first say, i am perfectly happy helping people. i like helping people. it makes people like me. And because im human i have a desire to be liked. so i do all sorts of things to help people, whether it be my friends, or just random people that need my help. i get questions from sitdiary users almost every day asking me to help then do something to their diary. and thats cool. im here to help people, i have no problem helpin people fix up their diaries and teaching them things. but where does it end? i do all sorts of stuff for everyone, but once i finish helping them thats it, i get a thanks for helpin me. but when i need help, when i need something where is everyone? now if you are reading this, meaning you are on my friends list, im not talkin about you, because you guys are my friends and i know you are here to help me, as i am here for you. im just talkin about all these others... i mean its probly my fault, im tooooo nice. people ask for help and i cant just turn them down and say no. to me that just seems so mean, because i know if i was in their shoes how it would feel if some said no to me... cause its happened. my dilema is do i just be nice to everyone and be happy that i am here to help others and not expect anything in return? or do i need to just be a hard ass and tell people to fuck off? i mean its difficult for me to do that. but yet if i help someone with something i do expect that they will be there if i need something. its a give and take relationship. i cant continue this whole im gona be nice to everyone and get nothing in return crap cause its really gettin to me. if it wasnt i wouldnt be writting this. every day i take time doing things for others, but i like most people of this world, am kinda selfish. i feel that if im gona give my time to others, i should get something in return, whether that me their willingness to help me if i ever need it, to a nice thank you or anything inbetween. but very rarely do i get that. i dunno i probly just should stop being so benevolent. but its not like me to turn someone down. i hate that cause ive known all my life what thats like and i dont wish it upon anyone. so in writting this i was hopeing to maybe get my thoughts out and figure out how to solve my dilema, but it seems im still stuck. sighhhhh. let me repeat to anyone that is reading this, i am not in any way talking about you cause i know that you are thankful and happy to help me if i ever need you. Thank you all for being here for me. HUGS for all of you >:D< THANKS