I walked back to the motorhome, thoroughly mortified by Ashley’s behavior, although the looks I received from the other campers were more of pity than anything else. The little kids were crying and full of questions, but all-in-all they seemed okay. Fourteen-year-old Ryan, furious because he either thought we had mistreated Ashley or she had the right to fight us, started yelling at me. I just went inside the motorhome, called the children in to clean up and help with the meal and broke down. I was angry at Ashley and physically hurt too-her slugs were meant to wound, and I was already bruising. But I had the family to think about, and I tried to answer their queries honestly and put on a brave front. Gradually we all calmed down.

I fixed dinner for us, and we played board games on the picnic table until well after dark. Nicole, Andrew, Emily and Eric settled down into their bunks and talked late into the night, quite different from when Mike was there because he constantly threatened them about being quiet. I took some time out to speak with Ryan and told him that Ash was getting harder to handle and more unpredictable, and we just couldn't allow her to run away or act out violently. I don't know how much good it did, but at least he stopped glaring at me angrily.

It wasn’t until I called Mike on his cellphone the next day that I found out what happened, or at least part of it. He had driven down the mountain with Ashley, who had begun the ride coldly indifferent but soon went to sleep. As soon as he was within calling range, he'd phoned Heidi Cook. He explained Ashley's violent behavior, and she was very concerned. She said that we should have her immediately admitted to Charleston because maybe it was a reaction to the Elavil she was taking. Or Mike could take her home and lock her in the bathroom under the strategy outlined by the tough-love author- providing food, clothing and a blanket to sleep on.

But the drive was a long one, made worse by freeway accidents all the way home, and the usual ninety-minute drive took more than three hours. The closer Mike got to the hospital, the less he wanted to leave Ashley there. He didn’t think the frequent admissions and discharges weren’t doing her any good, and every time she went in, it seemed she came out worse. He wasn't convinced either of the ethics or legality of locking her into the bathroom. Maybe what she needed was understanding and another chance. So he took Ashley home and phoned Kerri Martin to set up a therapy appointment for the following day. He told me that if they came up at all, it would be on Thursday or Friday, and I was to make the best of things until then. I was upset but decided that maybe Mike was right, and I trusted Kerri to set matters straight.

In the meantime I set about making our camping trip as fun for the other kids as I could. The next morning we had the good luck to find an empty campsite right across from the pool. This was one of the most coveted spots in the whole campground because it made frequent use of the pool, lodge and craft room so easy. With some help from the campground staff I got our big motorhome moved, and what a sense of accomplishment for me, scary though it was to drive the big rig. With the close proximity to swimming, the kids were able to hop over to the pool as much as they wanted, and we had a lot of fun. In fact, without Mike and Ashley there, the children and I had the best camping trip ever.

I talked to Mike almost daily and felt rather uneasy. He told me he was no longer planning to send Ashley to Heidi for counseling, and I agreed. When he phoned Kerri and asked if she would take over as our daughter's therapist, she willingly agreed and was now treating Ashley professionally. In fact, Mike and Ash had attended two therapy sessions that week and talked about the violence, and there had been no other incidents. Ash was calming down and talking freely, and I was okay with the two of them getting on well together. From the reports he gave me, it sounded like they were having a great time at home. The description didn’t sound like any kind of discipline to me, it sounded more like a party, and that was where I had to wonder what was up. Mike told me he had bought her some new clothes and paid to get her nails done. They had eaten out a lot, and he’d taken her to the movies twice.

When I asked what kind of consequences Ashley had been given for her Sunday behavior, Mike suddenly went silent. I pressed on- “you know, something Ash is supposed to do for acting out and trying to run away and everything she put us through?” More silence. “You did discuss this with Kerri, didn’t you?” And suddenly Mike got defensive and said he was dealing with it. Heidi was too strict and negatively-motivated, and Ashley needed to feel as if she mattered to us. But what he described didn’t sound like dealing, it sounded more like a reward.

Nervously, I called Kerri and asked her what was going on. She said yes, they'd come in for therapy and had discussed how Ash had gotten upset about leaving camp, tried to run away and had beaten Mike up. I enlightened her and said that she'd beaten both of us up, although because he received the majority of the punches and kicks, Mike's injuries were probably worse. There was a brief silence on the other end of the phone, and Kerri said that neither my husband nor daughter had told them that I'd been hurt too. She explained the very concrete terms she had set down for Ashley to make up for her outburst: a letter of apology to each Mike and me, verbal apologies to the children and assigned chores at home and time out in her room. I told her what Mike had described of the way they were spending their time, and Kerri admitted that she was mystified. She was going to be seeing Ashley again that afternoon, and she said she’d ask about their week and make sure Mike and Ashley were conforming to the plan.

Our camping trip progressed gloriously stress-free, but all good things have to come to an end. On Thursday afternoon Mike and Ashley came back up to join us for the weekend, and problems started right up. Ashley hardly said a word to me- she sort of threw a piece of paper at me which was the promised apology letter. But the letter seemed rather hastily put together as if not a lot of thought had gone into it. Sort of like an unwanted school assignment- just do it and get it over with. Mike acted tense and anxious, and I asked about some of the issues that Kerri had mentioned.

In clipped tones, Mike said he’d taken care of everything, and he would appreciate me not antagonizing Ashley. She was under his control, and since beginning therapy with Kerri, he’d already begun to notice improvement which I was not to jeopardize. I replied that I was willing to make a deal that if she left me alone and didn’t do anything to traumatize the children further, I wouldn't bother her either. But she must agree to behave herself and be nice to us. Mike agreed grudgingly but warned that my bad relationship with Ash had better not "get in the way" of his working with her. It sounded like a threat to me.

****TTFN,

Julie